Tag: life lessons
Brighter Days
I just recently watched the documentary “Mister Rogers and Me” and thought I’d share a few of my favorite neighbor’s quotes. See below. What an exceptional man he was. He definitely changed my childhood for the better. The world could use his wisdom and kindness right about now. Miss his goodness.
My favorite Mister Rogers quotes:
“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like “struggle.” To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.”
“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of.
There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
“It’s not so much what we have in this life that matters. It’s what we do with what we have.”
“There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.”
And…
Better Days
Lesson Learned
Hello wonderful WP peeps and Chris. 😛 Last post until Friday when we’ll return to poetry. I graduate from grad school in little over a week. I’m so excited to be done. I have a research job lined up and look forward to applying what I’ve learned. It’s been an adventure but an arduous one
Since school is slowing down, I’ve had more time to be on WP. One thing I’ve noticed, a lot of people are struggling with various things. It’s kind of refreshing to see people being honest about their pain. You know so many times, people just want us to be blown away with how amazing their lives are (or appear to be) that it can be intimidating. You know what I mean, from so called Instagram models, to Hallmark moments, to couple practically making out for the camera. Umm, could you not? Ha!
I know for myself, I’ve had a rough couple of years. Some of my unhappiness was self inflicted, while the rest revolved around circumstances out of my control. I was in a negative place for a good while. I’m finally finding my way out of it. Note, being a Bitter Betty isn’t my usual MO. I’m known for being emotional, but in the past, I’ve always tried to put a positive spin on things. It’s super hard to be positive though when you keep tripping over fallen branches that surround you in all different directions, not to mention, stumbling over your own insecurities. I guess the solution is to remove the branches and get some self worth.
In the past, I had this annoying habit of making milk chocolate out of vinegar. My mom used to say, I was too trusting. She was right, I’d always been the type of person to see the good in everyone. These days I’m more realistic, but there’s still the tendency to trust too quickly. However, there’s a healthy dose of skepticism attached now too.
Anyway, wow, I use that word a lot. I’m trying to get back to being my perky, quirky self, but tempering that optimism with realistic expectations and hard earned truths. I’m realizing that sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together. Every experience in our life is leading us to where we’re suppose to be. I guess the key is not to fight it, but just accept that change is the one thing we can always count on. Also, don’t look for validation and happiness in other people. Find it within yourself.
Don’t chase people who don’t want to be caught either. You’ll just wear yourself out. You’ll be so much happier if you reserve your affection, time, and love for those who would willingly run towards you with open arms. Choose people who choose you! Forgive and forget those who don’t. It’s not about the chase, but about the the choice. The choice belongs to you. Choose to be happy. Choose to love yourself. Choose to be liberated from doubt and fear.
Sometimes we just have to exhale and let go of negativity. Sometimes we have to acknowledge that some things aren’t meant for us. Sometimes we have to be broken to finally break free.
Cue music.
Lessons
In honor of suck up to your love day which happens tomorrow, I give you a list. You’d rather have jewlery? Same!
Things I’ve Learned From Relationships
1. Always be yourself if you can’t be who you are with your partner, what’s the point? If you feel you have to be something you’re not to gain your significant other’s affection then this is a huge red flag
For me that means being my awkward, weird and random self.
2. You deserve to be appreciated and treated well. Never be anyone’s afterthought, second choice, or stand in. You are amazing and should be treated as such
Seriously, do not put up with neglect. Ani’t nobody got time for that.
3. Love isn’t like the movies, at least after the endrpohins wear off. Love is a choice. It’s an action. If you base your relationship on feelings, you’ll end up being disappointed or looking for the next emotional high. Feelings come and go, but real love endures and it is a conscious effort
Sometimes love is more like a day at the dentist or a walk off a cliff
4. Compromise. It’s not always about you. Consider your partner’s needs and be willing to meet them halfway.
It’s mostly about what I want though. Kidding
5. Lies and withholding information have no place in a good relationship. Honesty is fundamental along with being able to communicate in a healthy way. Your partner should be your best friend, greatest cheerleader, and your reality check
Nobody wants just a yes man in their lives unless they have egos like eggs
6. Having things in common is important and being able to blend your lives together.
Differences can be fun too.
7. Being loved and validated is everything. You need to feel like you matter and are a priority. The person you’re with should make you feel secure and cherished everyday
Everyday.. even on Super Bowl Sunday.
8. Sometimes, love hurts There will always be disappointments that crop up and growing pains as you and your partner go through your life together. This pain can serve to teach you how to love your partner better
Or how to love someone else better the next time
9. Love goes much deeper than sexual gratification. Sex can be a wonderful way to express love, but shouldn’t be the only way, or the lychpin that holds the relationship together. If you build your partnership on the physical alone, it will crumble. The superficial will never last Take time to connect on a deeper level, one that is emotional and spiritual.
Sex is natural. Sex is cool, but you can find it anywhere.
10. Sometimes relationships end no matter how much love and work you put into them. People change. Circumstances shift and hearts grow cold. It’s a sad, but the most important lesson I’ve learned is never give up, never stop trying. Love will come again.
In the meantime, there’s always books, chocolate, BOB and lists!
Apathy is the new compassion
Because if you are a human being,
you should try it at least once in your life,
assuming you’re already in that delinquent minority
of people who actually give a damn.
In which case it is imperative that you deny your nature.
Pay no mind to the wounded, those hurting, those living
in poverty, those abused and degraded
Your conscience might try to entice you
into fighting these wars.
Don’t be tempted to be a regime of change.
Be the most pathetic of apathetic.
Be an emphatic sack of nothing.
Become fish like with your feelings.
Let summer revolve solely around you.
Become Dionysius favorite daughter.
Affix yourself to a incubus of
laissez-faire.
Don’t have eyes that see and are able
to to derive a lesson from a flaw.
Don’t have ears that are able
to discern a cry for help
from a sports match on TV.
Don’t let your skin be alive with compassion.
Don’t feel sick in the bones
for all the horror in the world.
Let your indifference be museum quality.
Mona Lisa with a bottle of gin
and a party dress on.
Let your own selfishness uproot your veins.
Parade down the street and cheer yourself on,
while a homeless man begs for money or change.
This is how you do it. You have no time
for extreme emotions. No truths. No news.
Drink your tea, and steep yourself
into a stupor.
Sleep for years without a map.
Waste your life drooling and snoring.
The planet will spin on.
Who needs to feel the sun, the rain?
Dream toward less.
You can wake up when you’re dead.
Just don’t expect anybody
to look for you in the dark.
Don’t be surprised if your left stunned,
spinning, alone.
This is just one of the ways it could go,
if you take my advice.
I hope you can tell me another.
-Tosha Michelle
Crushed Flowers
And these are my flaws
My vices.
Impatience, a tongue
sharp as a guillotine.
Caffeine. Chocolate.
Sarcasm on every occasion.
And unquenchable desire
to be loved.
A heart that is an
exhibitionist who
weeps upon
my sleeve
A fear of monochrome
colors, thunder,
the undone,
petty gossip
and letting go.
A hunger to be kissed
often and with fervor.
An awkward shyness
around new people.
A fascination with
the lure of a snowbound
life.
Not being Christian
enough to turn the
other cheek or Zen
enough to just be still.
The knowledge that my
life is unimportant
in a world with a noose
around its neck but
writing about it
anyway.
I often prefer the company
of books and my cat to
other human beings.
I live nside a cluttered
mind in a pristine house.
And not listening closely
to my Granny and her
treasury of wise words
Most which I have
forgotten, but
I do recall her saying
you must learn
to take what will
be with grace,
that our flaws
bind us
to humanity,
and to never forget
even crushed
flowers are beautiful.
On Words and Self Doubt
My poetry always exposes
the imperfect fit of my skin,
with words that run off
with the seeds of pretext.
I’m left behind chasing
an existential crisis,
no fairy tales to quell
my anxieties
Choking on a parched narrative
thinking too much.
about thinking
Too much “who?” too much me
not enough “what can I do?”
My shoes moist
and full of warm blood
I take them off-revealing my blisters
Exhausted, I sit down
and breathe in despair’s air.
watching the newspaper,
and leaves long dead, fly by me.
The turmoil traffic,
thumb to nose, mocking me,
the dark taunting me
with Medusa’s stare.
Some fool shinning a light
(as if that could make a difference)
I sharpen my lyrical claws,
fist fighting my wit,
cursing stupid cliches
telling banality to f*** off.
Wondering if that’s
how written language will end.
with a “bee in your bonnet”
and impotent pen
Waiting…waiting…waiting
for words and their Judas betrayal
to find me,
so we can release our flaws,
like a dying hooker’s last confessional,
Perhaps, this time- words
and I will join in semantic fusion,
an authentic coupling, anointed
with a whispered touch,
fertile in rhythm and verse
stirring to stir..stirred to stir.
Birthing the poetic molecular structure.
the genetic code of the spirit
Wearing multiple faces, places,
memories, hearts, and loves.
Dressed with an imagination affluent in grief
Maybe this time our monologue of loneliness and self doubt will make the soul’s late late show.
-Tosha Michelle
I think. I think too much.
I think. I think too much.
I’m chained to my brain’s chaos
My heart guarded but afraid.
Pain marred scars.
Tell stories of a sensitive soul
Lost in a high tide zone.
Battered by the currents of regret.
Burned by a scornful sun.
Thoughts swirl in endless motion.
Disturbing my equilibrium
Demons born on the waves of insecurities.
Hellions of a mind.
They reign, feeding on my weaknesses.
One day I hope to stage a rebellion.
Until then..
I remain a paragon of hypercritical introspection.
Reflections Of My Life
Artwork by Tosha Michelle
“You can’t stop the future. You can’t rewind the past The only way to learn the secret …is to press play.”
“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes.”
― Walt Whitman
Change is an organic thing that that happens every minute, every day, and everywhere. We as people are not meant to stay static. We may grow up but we should never stop maturing and expanding our hearts and minds. We shouldn’t be held captive by the past or how people perceive us. We create and radiate our own unique way of being.
In some ways we are always changing but yet staying the same. When I look back at the me from yesteryear, I still see the same quirky, awkward, random, sentimental girl. I also see a woman who has a wealth of experience, who has endured illness, heartache and loss, but also experienced wonderful life-altering adventures. My journey has taken me out of my comfort zone and into a world of growth and enlightenment. It doesn’t hurt that I have been blessed with the love and unwavering support of family and friends. These people teach me so much every day.
I still process information the same way, but experience has altered the way I interpret that information. Every day reveals a new layer of character. The years are teaching me and molding me into a better version of myself. I embrace getting older and look forward to one day being a, “wise old soul.” Emerson said “As we grow old the beauty steals inward.” What a beautiful sentiment.
A work in process is what I will always be. I’m still evolving. I hope that never changes, even as I change. However, I know what I stand for and who I am. Uncertainty has no place in my inner world. It’s a gift where decisions become easier, temptations become less, and confidence grows stronger.
Vampire Bites
You walk in
and my sanity walks out.
I’m just your victim.
I always fall for your inescapable charm.
Forgetting it is only a ruse.
to mask your Medusa’ gaze.
Go ahead toy with me.
You always win.
Ruminate in the ruins of me.
You’re a vulture.
leaving behind death and decay.
Go ahead.
Swallow me whole.
I’m lost in the breast of your parasitic whim.
all that’s left is the carcass of a once innocent soul.
-Tosha Michelle
Everything I Never Told You 