Key, Pearl. Wisdom

We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.

Max DePree

Advertisements

I Forgot That You Existed

 “The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference.”

Let’s keep with the Taylor Swift theme for at least one more post. The last song I shared was dreamy and romantic, and definitely sums up where I am in life at the moment. i’m very much about love, commitment and all the good things in the world. However, I can also relate to this next song. I think we’ve all known this feeling too, the emotions that come with someone we care about lets us down or we discover they weren’t who we thought they were.

We go through a dark period when we think we can’t go on, only to end up in a place where indifference kicks in. I’m convinced that’s the place of healing. Of course, you wish them well, and remember lessons learned, but the hurt feelings don’t consume you anymore. Your emotions are no longer tied to that person or the past. “Now and then I think of when we were together…Now you’re just somebody that I used to know” Whatever happened to Gotye? That tune was so overplayed. Anyway, back to the topic at hand, once you let go of the anger and regret, you can finally move forward free of the emotional baggage. “It isn’t love. It isn’t hate. It’s indifference” Sing it, Tay Tay.

https://youtu.be/p1cEvNn88jM

Lyrics

“How many days did I spend
Thinkin’ ’bout how did me wrong, wrong, wrong
Lived in the shade you were throwin’
‘Til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone
And I couldn’t get away from you
In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah
Your name on my lips, tongue tied
Free rent, livin’ in my mind
But then something happened one magical night
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate
It’s just indifference
I forgot that you
Got out some popcorn
As soon as my rep starting going down, down, down
Laughed on the schoolyard
As soon as I tripped up and hit the ground, ground, ground
And I would’ve stuck around for ya
Would’ve fought the whole town, so yeah
Would’ve been right there front row
Even if nobody came to your show
But you showed who you are, then one magical night
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate
It’s just indifference
I forgot that you
Sent me a clear message
Taught me some hard lessons
I just forget what they were
It’s all just a blur
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
I did, I did, I did
It isn’t hate, it’s just indifference
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate
It’s just indifference (so yeah)
How many days did I spend
Thinkin’ ’bout how did me wrong, wrong, wrong
Lived in the shade you were throwin’
‘Til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone
And I couldn’t get away from you
In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah
Your name on my lips, tongue tied
Free rent, livin’ in my mind
But then something happened one magical night
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate
It’s just indifference
I forgot that you
Got out some popcorn
As soon as my rep starting going down, down, down
Laughed on the schoolyard
As soon as I tripped up and hit the ground, ground, ground
And I would’ve stuck around for ya
Would’ve fought the whole town, so yeah
Would’ve been right there front row
Even if nobody came to your show
But you showed who you are, then one magical night
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate
It’s just indifference
I forgot that you
Sent me a clear message
Taught me some hard lessons
I just forget what they were
It’s all just a blur
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
I did, I did, I did
It isn’t hate, it’s just indifference
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate
It’s just indifference (so yeah)
Source: LyricFind

Sunshine Energy

66148044-6D67-4028-A38C-C12951E25D67
Hey y’all. I know I haven’t been posting much poetry lately, it’s been a pretty busy season. There will be a new book coming out soon though. However, just between you and me, you can read my poetry here for free. In other news, our house hunt begins in earnest in a few weeks. Excited about that, upcoming fall travels and a friend’s wedding in Sept. I also have a birthday coming up, looking forward to that too. Another year in a life. It turned out to be a really good one. Here’s hoping for lots more.

In other news, starting in March, I will be become the SC State Coordinator for an organization called Cue Center For The Missing. I will be attending a training seminar that same month in Wilmington North Carolina. I’m really looking forward to doing what I can to help find the missing and being a source of comfort to families. I can’t imagine the grief and pain that they must cope with every day.

I’d like to close on a lighter entertainment note, I’m currently reading another biography on Eleanor Roosevelt called “ Kindred Souls” by Edna P Gurewitsch .  It chronicles the later years of her life and her friendship with Dr. David Gurewitsch I’m halfway through and really enjoying it. We also just watched the premiere episode of the Righteous Gemstones on HBO. It’s such a funny show. Danny McBride always comes up with the best material for TV.  The comedy focuses on a mega ministry and a family of preachers. It’s stars John Goodman, Danny McBride, and Adam DeVine. It really is hilarious.  They don’t so much poke fun at religion, as they do the people who exploit religion and use it for their own gain. Okay y’all, time to workout and get my day going, I’m sending lots of love to all of you and hope that you have  a really wonderful day. Thanks for being the lovely creative souls you are.

Until next time,
Tosha

The Wingspan of History

Years later if you do find yourself
giving into nostalgia’s fancy, flight
and all. Do not lament the departed
back or the wingspan of history,
the lost of what was.

Remember my dear, the albatross
left its shell long ago,
only the scent of sea water lingers.

If you must soar back into the past,
take solace in those bygones
summers, magnetic in their reticent sweetness of air. Recall the pleasure
of moonlight and innocence. Be
grateful for every hour spent, lessons
learned by the skin of heart.

Do not think of how the storm came,
or the way the Earth bent and folded,
instead give yourself to sentimentality
of summer’s rain soaked showers.

Once you’re throughly drenched,
feel your feet slowly touch the
earth again.Watch as the past drifts
and wafts away.

My how it shimmers in the distance,
riding on the whims of the sky.
The warm updraft feels nice for a
moment but not as lovely as the pull of the ground and the beauty of now.

-Tosha Michelle

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in ‘t.”.

Before I get into the post, I apologize in advance for the formatting. I’ve been having issues with WordPress recently and it making me exceedingly frustrated. Of course, my lack of tech savvy could be the real culprit (but GRRR either way). Happy Monday, beautiful people. Speaking of the beautiful…
————————-

Just finished reading The Richard Burton Diaries. Oh my lands! What a journey it was. As usual, I’m late to the book signing, the diaries came out in 2012, In fairness though, by that time, RB had been dead for almost 30 years. Hopefully, he won’t hold it against me. May he rest in lavish, bookish, and superior peace.

My humble take on the inner wordings of flawed greatness, turns out Richard Burton was not just an accomplished actor, but also a gifted writer. The diaries are a superb read, magical and moving for their realism, and gut wrenching for Burton’s sometimes biting cynicism. If you’re not familiar with Richard Burton, he was an acclaimed Welsh actor of both film and stage, probably best known for movies like Cleopatra, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, (my favorite) Where Eagles Dare, and his renounced stage performances as Henry V, and Author of Camelot. One also can’t think of Burton without mentioning his turbulent romance and marriages to the legendary and glorious Elizabeth Taylor. The latter takes on a leading role in his diaries. In one passage he writes of Taylor:

“I have been inordinately lucky all my life but the greatest luck of all has been Elizabeth. She has turned me into a moral man but not a prig, she is a wildly exciting lover-mistress, she is shy and witty, she is nobody’s fool, she is a brilliant actress, she is beautiful beyond the dreams of pornography, she can be arrogant and wilful, she is clement and loving, Dulcis Imperatrix, she is Sunday’s child, she can tolerate my impossibilities and my drunkenness, she is an ache in the stomach when I am away from her, and she loves me!

Their relationship was one for the ages and fascinating in the way only tormented love can be. However, it’s not as intriguing as Burton himself, with his melodic voice, rugged good looks, and command of the English language (both written and spoken) Just look at how eloquently he described the wonders of traveling:

“Of the gladdest moments in human life, methinks, is the departure upon a distant journey into unknown lands. Shaking off with one mighty effort the fetters of Habit, the leaden weight of Routine, the cloak of many Cares, and the slavery of Home, man feels once more happy. The blood flows with the fast circulation of childhood. Excitement lends unwonted vigour to the muscle, and the sudden sense of freedom adds a cubit to the mental stature. Afresh dawns the morn of life. Again the bright world is beautiful to the eye, and the glorious face of nature gladdens the soul. A journey, in fact, appeals to Imagination, to Memory, to Hope-the sister graces of our mortal being.

Burton’s diaries begin in 1933, when he was just a young lad of 14. They conclude in 1983, the year of his untimely death at the age of 58. The journals provide an intimate glance into his private life and innermost thoughts. Thoughts that come across as lyrical, profound, self indulgent, deeply introspective, surprisingly scholarly, and always captivating. Like all of us, Burton had his demons, his vanities, his disappointments, his heartaches, his less than moments but also his successes and Mohammed mountaintop, (isn’t life a glamorous hoot) glimmer and glimpses. In some parts, the book reads like a Hollywood gossip column, in others, an erotic love story (always on the precipitate of becoming a Shakespearean tragedy), and in still others, a collection of Dylan poems with Yates’ Revolutionary Road thrown in to make you ponder the banality of even the most extraordinary of lives.

As an aside (and noteworthy, for all of us reading fiends), his love of books almost rivaled his love of Taylor. He consumed volume upon volumes of reading material. He read ferociously and obsessively from every genre. His knowledge of literature was extraordinary. He was very opinionated on the novels he read too. His summation of The Godfather and the Bond books made me chuckle. His knowledge of Shakespeare and Blake was astonishing. I’ve added a few of his suggestions to my reading list. Thanks RB! I think he’d probably hate that I’m calling him that. It beats Dick though.
The impression left upon completion of the book, Richard Burton was a multi dimensional, brilliant, curious, tender, sometimes lovable, other times unlikable man but a man who was always authentic, generous, and genuine in his assessment of himself and the world around him. Like most creative types, he did have periods of misanthropy and depression. At times he was full of self loathing and a natural born critic, both of himself and others, but he tempered his harshness with an engaging wit. He was wickedly funny. If I had to sum up Richard Burton, I would say in my pedestrian and utterly lacking way, he was a bit of a Dickens character, mixed with Oscar Wilde and King Lear.
Oh and in case you haven’t figured it out yet, I highly recommend The Richard Burton Diaries. It’s a stellar read for anyone who is a fan of old Hollywood, rags to riches tales, love stories, engaging writing, and tortured men with faces like a Greek God. Men who don’t mind getting deeply personal with their journals. Note, the writings really take off around his 1965 entries. You can see his progression as a writer. Richard Burton was more than apt with a turn of a phrase and danced his way through the pages with the grace of Baryshnikov. If you choose to read the diaries, you will come away with an intimate portrait of a wonderfully complex, indelibly flawed human. He may have been Hollywood royalty but his heart was just like ours, one that bent and broke on occasion. I wish I could do justice to his musings, but you’ll just have to read him for yourself.

-Tosha Michelle


The best scene from “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” The acting is mesmerizing.

https://youtu.be/g1IDWOtBDTg