Notes from the Other Side


Sometimes sorrow turns into
irreversible regret.
We choose to live an icebox
existence.
Wallowing in misfortune’s
frosty glass.
Consorting with memories
Squabbling with dreams.

The poet too has felt life
interrupted, days that vanish
upon awakening.
I’ve known suffering and
the pull of solitary confinement.

Now looking back from a happier
vista. I’m hear to tell you,
the pitch of pain may never
be unheard, but it does gets softer,
fading into a bittersweet refrain.
The past becomes part of
your case history, to be read
by nostalgia’s light on rain
soaked nights.

In time the visible world brightens 
Let it entice you with the woo of
the today and what will be.
Take refuge in the heat of
places uncharted, linger in
the sweet realism of the hour.

Walk toward the future
with unshackled feet.
The misbegotten shadows
behind you now.
Let the smudge of the sun,
and the warmth of a steadfast
hand be your guide.

-Tosha Michelle

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Self Help to Self Harm: The Dubious Guide to Life, Love, and Relationships.

I really hate self promotion. My friend Andy is a pro at it. I’m borrowing a page from him. Please check out my latest book

Self Help to Self Harm: The Dubious Guide to Life, Love, and Relationships.

Hey, I didn’t say the page I borrowed wasn’t obnoxious. The Bold and Annoying.

But I digress ( don’t I always?)

Self Help to Self Harm: The Dubious Guide to Life, Love, and Relationships. (can’t stop, won’t stop)

is a humorous, tongue-in-cheek look at life, love, and relationships, tempered by moments of serious introspection. This book won’t get you laid, help you lose ten pounds, cure your addictions, or draw you closer to God or Starbucks (whatever you worship).

Way to sell it, right? Hopefully, it will make you chuckle and cause you to rethink your One Direction hate.

You can purchase the book here:

http://amzn.com/0692417400

If you like it,  I’d really appreciate if you would consider leaving a review on Amazon, GoodReads, and Barnes&Noble. If you don’t like it..well…keep that sh** to yourself. Kidding.

Reflections Of My Life

Artwork by Tosha Michelle

PicsArt_1428258514208“You can’t stop the future. You can’t rewind the past The only way to learn the secret …is to press play.”

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes.”
Walt Whitman

Change is an organic thing that that happens every minute, every day, and everywhere. We as people are not meant to stay static.  We may grow up but we should never stop maturing and expanding our hearts and minds.   We shouldn’t be held captive by the past or how people perceive us. We create and radiate our own unique way of being.

In some ways we are always changing but yet staying the same.  When I look back at the me from yesteryear, I still see the same quirky, awkward, random, sentimental girl. I also see a woman who has a wealth of experience, who has endured illness, heartache and loss, but also experienced wonderful life-altering adventures. My journey has taken me out of my comfort zone and into a world of growth and enlightenment. It doesn’t hurt that I have been blessed with the love and unwavering support of family and friends. These people teach me so much every day.

I still process information the same way, but experience has altered the way I interpret that information.  Every day reveals a new layer of character. The years are teaching me and molding me into a better version of myself. I embrace getting older and look forward to one day being a, “wise old soul.” Emerson said “As we grow old the beauty steals inward.” What a beautiful sentiment.

A work in process is what I will always be. I’m still evolving. I hope that never changes, even as I change. However, I know what I stand for and who I am.  Uncertainty has no place in my inner world. It’s a gift where decisions become easier, temptations become less, and confidence grows stronger.

Midnight in the Garden of My Mind. (someone get the weed whacker)

Random  thought of the day- If Lady Gaga and The Goo Dolls went on the road together; would they call it the Gaga Goo Goo Tour? By the way, why does Gaga live for the bear claws?

But, seriously….
Introspective thought of the day.- I have come to realizes that; I’ll always be a square peg, just trying to fit in, one foot in this world, the other, God knows where. Hopefully not in Crocs. UGH! Although, happiness is within and surrounds me, there will always be an undertone of sadness and melancholy that resides and resonant to my core. I welcome these emotions with open arms because I am a masochist. I also have a lady boner for that old sod, Heathcliff (the moors, the angst, etc) Did I just type lady boner?

In addition to being maudlin,  I am a restless spirit, a spirit who has pieces and shards of interest splayed out in every possible creative direction. But to each its ultimate standard of expertise I can’t seem to reach fully.. Sometimes, I feel like my heart is flying in over my head, bouncing off the walls, the ceilings, yet confined within a certain room. Striving to break free and soar.

I believe I can fly.
Still trying to find my wings.
While I look, grab a pacifier and blankie. Give a listen.

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Beauty and the Self Conscious Beast.

Imperfection and flaws are beautiful no matter how strange or dysfunctional they may be. We all strive for perfection, but it is an unattainable, elusive dream. OK, unless you are Timothy Olyphant! Hubba, friggin hubba.

390_1timothy_olyphant_2

But I digress….

We all have things we would like to change about ourselves. Learning to accept that we are perfectly imperfect is the key to peace of mind and giving our mirrors a much-needed reprieve.  Let’s own our flaws and make them fabulous. Idiosyncrasies should be embraced. How boring life would be without them?
We women especially put so much effort, into our hair, makeup and dress, setting such a high standard by comparing ourselves to others when we should just learn to love ourselves for who we are, flaws and all. Those flaws are what make us uniquely us. Let’s learn to be confident in our insecurities. Our fears do not define our worth, nor naysayers out to cast their stones. Let’s declare our independence from self-doubt.  Remember, under all those gorgeous dresses, lovely hats, and winning smile, even Kate Middleton probably has a few quirky qualities about her, like drinking milk straight from the cartoon, or something deranged like that.
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Beauty and the Self Conscious Beast.

 

Imperfection and flaws are beautiful no matter how strange or dysfunctional they may be. We all strive for perfection, but it is an unattainable, elusive dream . OK, unless you are Timothy Olyphant! Hubba, friggin hubba. 

390_1timothy_olyphant_2

But I digress….

We all have things we would like to change about ourselves. Learning to accept that we are perfectly imperfect is the key to peace of mind and giving our mirrors a much needed reprieve.  Let’s own our flaws and make them fabulous. Idiosyncrasies should be embraced. How boring life would be without them?

We women especially put so much effort, into our hair, makeup and dress, setting such a high standard by comparing ourselves to others when we should just learn to love ourselves for who we are, flaws and all. Those flaws are what make us uniquely us. Let’s learn to be confident in our insecurities. Our fears do not define our worth, nor naysayers out to cast their stones. Let’s declare our independence from self doubt.  Remember, under all those gorgeous dresses, lovely hats, and winning smile, even Kate Middleton probably has some really quirky qualities about her, like drinking milk straight from the cartoon, or something deranged like that.

 

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