Back to You.

Random thoughts  

A break in a relationship is usually code for “We’re on the way out, but neither of us wants to let go, so let’s just do this painfully and slowly.” It also throws us females into crisis mode. This according to Cosmo. 👠

Hmmm…


Look, sometimes in life you’ll be displaced, erased , or even replaced.  Just ask Ross. Ha! You’ll feel abandoned and rejected.  It’s not your fault. Sometimes, even the best relationships run their course. Still, even knowing this, losing someone you love is the worst. It can cause a lot of pain, anger, and self doubt  It’s a shock to the system when the person you thought would always be there for you suddenly isn’t. When you go from being in the highlight reel of someone life’s to the cutting room floor, it is devastating . It’s especially hurtful, if  you’ve been replaced or they’ve just lost that loving feeling. woh, that loving feeling. Poor Goose. 😉

Eventually though after a period of grieving, the heart and mind will sync up and  you’ll realizes people change.and Maverick will fly again. 😎 Feelings change too and some folks aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. Hey, just because they forgot how amazing you are, doesn’t mean you should. Of course, maybe they didn’t forget but are just looking for a different brand of amazing. Don’t blame yourself for their actions and don’t waste your time blaming them either. Focus on what they taught you, the good stuff, forgive them the bad, and wish them well on their journey. And never let anyone put baby in a corner unless it’s stocked with 🍷 and 80s movies. 

The upside to heartbreak is sometimes in life you’ll be loved, cherished, and treated like the irreplaceable person you are. Someone is going to look at you like you’re everything, because to them you are. The only thing they’ll want to replace is dark chocolate for milk. 😜Cherish these people, but most importantly, cherish yourself. Own your worth and never let anyone make you feel less than because you’re beautiful, ageless, exceptional, and one of a kind. You’re an original baby, and worth more than long goodbyes that end in heartache or people who aren’t certain where you fit in, in their lives anymore. You may lose them, but don’t lose yourself.  

Love, Oprah ha!  You don’t get a car, sadly. 

On a fun note a touch of pink and a Selena’s song.  Happy Tuesday. xx


“You could break my heart in two. But when it heals, it beats for you. I know it’s forward, but it’s true”

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Stage Leaps

Renewal happens in stage leaps

and high dives.

Under the water waits another 

life, another world 

Listen to the keening of the day.

Spring always comes around again.

The sun doesn’t move but we can.

Don’t be afraid to shimmer 

to put on new skin.

Let your heart be hungry 

Knowing whatever you become

next will be better. 

Shed your claws, your regrets 

The air is brighter but the time

finite. Jump into the arms of 

the novel of your life while

there still time to live the story. 

-Tosha Michelle 

Laying the Blues Down

image

I’m tired of dragging my
hurts round like a stick
along jail cell bars.

And my tune always broken,
and the warden always asking
for some change.

Let me lie down on a cot,
or in the middle of the floor
and scatter my grievances
and self abuse all around.

And wait for another inmate
with a bottle of whiskey
and harmonica, who knows
how to play the blues, to
come and sit down beside me

And we’ll harmonize our angst
like pressing a finger to a bleeding wound.

And our hearts may be broken organs,
but we’ll pluck a banjo from it’s strings.

And we’ll sing until the night
opens for us like a door.

And let our song carry us as
far as the sky will go or, at least
to Chicago or St. Louis.

There we’ll swallow snowmelt, and
take our self doubt underground.

Finally laying those
melancholy blues down.

-Tosha Michelle

Catch and Release 

Happiness begins in summer air
when we lift our hands,
ink stained from editing a life
in need of revisions and
vision, a mid eve dream
reformed. Reborn.

Where we find comfort
in the stormy eye of
new beginnings,
in trying again
but this time in today.
Ready to risk, to breathe
to pick the window seat,
to upgrade to first class,
to meet the stranger’s gaze,
not caring if it’s a four leaf clover
or a curse.

Mistakes and Nirvana
flickering in from the West.

Happiness begins when we
finally learn to rearrange the whys
and start believing in the how,
even if we come up short,
even if we fail.
Knowing it’s all in the
catch and release anyhow.

-Tosha Michelle

He Never Loved Me

Reckless Heart

What the wise doubt, the fool
believes-
Who is it, then, that love
deceives?
-Louise Bogan


He never loved me.
where others saw a nightingale
to him, I was just a fractured claw.
Still, I gave him the gift of song

He never loved me,
yet he came into my life
trumpets blaring, the way
cream falls over coffee
on a cold December morning.

I wanted to compose him in
in sunlight, instead it was
a melody full of rain.
The sound of something injured,.
a sky broken by ash,.
The wind exhaling regret
only hinted of brighter things

He never loved me.
His heart always
lying in the tense past.
which he saw as tender.
Our future nothing more
than stick figures sitting by
nostalgia’s tree. Me grieving
for him. His mind always
on another.

The after…

Nowadays the raindrops have
arranged themselves in
a pattern of forgetfulness
My misplaced heart finding
purchase in a blade of grass
that breathes life into the
whole landscape.
How lovingly those with eyes
open prepare the earth for
love’s sake.

The gentle brush of lips
across my forehead
reminds me that their still
summertime tunes to be sung.
My lungs alive with promise
My ears no longer attuned
to darknesss.

-Tosha Michelle