On Becoming A Raven


The beautiful edgy woman
with the death stare
is sure I’m a one way door.
The all American girl,
a one shot deal in
illuminated skin.

She would never suspect
that I drink in
crows like the sky,
that I find clarity in chaos.
that I drowned Barbie
in a pool of cement,
that I may look like a black and white
1950’s candy sweet darling.
But inside my heart wears
leather, tattoos, a storm brews
beneath my skin.

The years giving me
color and form.
taking me from
red blush to blood red.
as summer turns to fall.
Underscoring the
damp edges of my soul.
Finally, growing
into my backbone.
I’m the other side of her
projection now.
A soul reborn feral.

Finding beauty in asymmetry.
Nurtured by rainfall that pools
into darkness.
Filing my nails on thorns.

Naive Southern Belle no longer.
The nightingale turned
into a raven with teeth.

-Tosha Michelle

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The Sky is Falling.

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If you think you are the
sun, think again.
You are the sky
holding the sun up,
trying to change the world
one dawn at a time.

Even if you don’t have time,
notice the new day.
We are so busy we forget
we’re out of milk.
We forget how we use to
hunger for a fulfilled life.

At first there was vitamin D
in excess, now just deficiency.

We can’t live if we are constantly
trying to escape our reality,
ourselves.

I’m a litany of doubts.
Wondering if I should lower
my expectations.

Maybe I’m still the sun.
Maybe the sky is your
hand.

I remember when our sky of delusions fell.
You spoke to me only in scars.

I’m trying my best to be
your nightcap, your safe route,
your whimsical merry go round.

Imagination echoes
in every chamber.
Hope lingers.

Is it enough?

The sky cries “Forget it”.
Sometimes, we are just lost.

-Tosha Michelle

My latest cover. My friend Danny requested “An American Trilogy” He also requested I sing it sans music. I did my best.

Listen to An American Trilogy (for Danny) by Tosha Michelle 2020 #np on #SoundCloud

Reflections Of My Life

Artwork by Tosha Michelle

PicsArt_1428258514208“You can’t stop the future. You can’t rewind the past The only way to learn the secret …is to press play.”

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes.”
Walt Whitman

Change is an organic thing that that happens every minute, every day, and everywhere. We as people are not meant to stay static.  We may grow up but we should never stop maturing and expanding our hearts and minds.   We shouldn’t be held captive by the past or how people perceive us. We create and radiate our own unique way of being.

In some ways we are always changing but yet staying the same.  When I look back at the me from yesteryear, I still see the same quirky, awkward, random, sentimental girl. I also see a woman who has a wealth of experience, who has endured illness, heartache and loss, but also experienced wonderful life-altering adventures. My journey has taken me out of my comfort zone and into a world of growth and enlightenment. It doesn’t hurt that I have been blessed with the love and unwavering support of family and friends. These people teach me so much every day.

I still process information the same way, but experience has altered the way I interpret that information.  Every day reveals a new layer of character. The years are teaching me and molding me into a better version of myself. I embrace getting older and look forward to one day being a, “wise old soul.” Emerson said “As we grow old the beauty steals inward.” What a beautiful sentiment.

A work in process is what I will always be. I’m still evolving. I hope that never changes, even as I change. However, I know what I stand for and who I am.  Uncertainty has no place in my inner world. It’s a gift where decisions become easier, temptations become less, and confidence grows stronger.

Goodbye Neverland

 

This is a poem I wrote about the loss of friendship.See below.  At the time, I wasn’t ready to embrace letting go.  It’s funny how we meet certain people and just know they are fated to be in our lives forever, but the universe has different plans. Reflecting back, I now understand that not all friendships are meant to last although every friendship has a purpose.  Friends come into our life for a reason. They offer us just what we need at that particular moment in our lives..They help us grow…that growth could take a week, 6 months or years, but when we have arrived at our spiritual destination it is time to move on, time to let go..Letting go is never easy. It hurts!  But the best thing we can do for ourselves is to keep looking forward and believe that everything is as it’s meant to be.

Letting go means letting go of fear. letting go of guilt, and letting go of blame.. Don’t be afraid to move on. People will always fall away, and hey sometimes they fall back.. However, we have to live in the now, to know that for the time being we’ve learned all we can from them. Don’t grieve for what is lost but rejoice for what was. Friendships are sacred and they reflect who we are. Just as we change so do they. Things don’t happen to us. They happen for us.

If there’s one lesson life has taught me is the only constant in this world are the hands of time and change..Roll with it…

Goodbye Neverland

Sunny days, walking along the beach

Collecting fragile seashells and memories;

That must not to be overlooked or forgotten.

Sitting and basking in the sublime breeze

As the tides rolled in, lulling us with a sense of peace.

We talked about books, politics and philosophy

And we argued about the latest trends;

All the while we reflected on life in all its intricacies,

As we marveled at the crystal blue waters;

Like a marvelous friendship that never seemed to end.

Blanketed by serene winds belonging to no land,

I sat with my lost-boy from Never-Never-land.

The dreamy landscape forever expanding

We were taken away to mystic distant realms afar.

Suddenly the clouds rolled in,

The wind turned cold and the sky dark and gray.

I reached for your hand thinking,

We will run and hide from the rain together; but

You were nowhere to be found.

Left alone with the ominous sounds of waves

Crashing on the shore, I called out for you, but

The thunder cracked the air, silencing my breath away.

Where did you go my friend?

I need you now to guide me home.

Who will help me board up the windows?

I cannot secure the house all tight alone all night.

Was it just an illusion, thinking you would stand with me and fight?

How could you leave me alone battling the storms?

Consumed with pain and fear for our friendship so fragile,

That it could not withstand mere earthly elements.

Just like a storm, we grew together, raining our tears,

Until we ceased to be; just as a storm ends bringing about

The inevitable clear blue skies of fair weather, friend.

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