The Day After

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He’s somewhere between a
brother and a lover.
But not my brother or lover.
He says my sighs say broken.
And because he’s near I’m
transformed somehow.
The words sound different
when they come out of
my mouth.
My form has changed, even
the evergreens take notice.
I bathe in the dappled light
between the trees.
He takes my hand and leads
me down an uncharted road,
where no one has thought of easy.
He says December is the perfect month
for skinny dipping in Minnesota.

-Tosha Michelle

Upon Reaching for the Sky

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Inside her pocket
she keeps letters
she’ll never send,
and long lists.

She sits at the vanity,
brushing serenity out
of her golden hair.

Listening to lost rain
that’s surly meant to fall
anywhere but here.

Somewhere already green
and lush.

Her mind grieving winter brown

It’s February.

If she mailed her letters
and shared her lists,
who would read them?

She asked for a cup
of tears
The liquid burns
her tongue.

She listens for the
soft cadence of his voice.

Her heart repeats its inquiry.

Memories and reality
undefined.

-Tosha Michelle

American Honey

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I miss childhood,
when I could climb trees,
unencumbered by branches.
The delicate days new born,
when hope came in dancing in
from the backyard and stayed
for Sunday dinner.
Endlessly long days that
always seem to fade into
sunsets and deliriously delectable
dreams of dandelions and
determined alliteration.
There, nights were made
of lightening and a well lit horizon-
the symphony neverending.

Now life has uprooted that sense
of joy, of ignition.
These days I’m just sound
slighted, the residue
of the morning mist,
burnt out on the melody.
Longing for backyard green,
the verve, the contentment.

-Tosha Michelle

Desire: written.

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When he speaks in my dreams
I am allowed to look at him

Somehow our clothes
are always off.

I let his perfect form
slide all over me.

His lyrical sound
is loud in my head.

How my mind wanders
and sparks.

The thoughts reaching out.

I try to still my hands,
but his skin is a tempting idea.

The open mouth kiss
of illicit toxins, sensual sin.

The more I try to latch on
the less real he feels.

The space between his face
and mine only grows longer.

I awake in my bed, the good girl,
still feeling the lingering wind
blowing in from the bad girl North.

How it likes to torment and tease
tameable me, untameable in dreams.

-Tosha Michelle

The Pillow Who Loved Me

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Every night her bed spoke to her, but her pillow had no use
for language. It was too busy being soft and comfortable.
Its natural state, one of rest. She was clueless to its
aversions and desires, but suspected it feared dust mites,
daylight, and the sound of the alarm clock. The bed loved to
share all its secrets of sleepy heads, and banging heads, and
unmentionable head. The pillow refused to participate in such
tomfoolery. Its downtime was spent inside a silk cul-de-sac
so quiet even darkness was suspicious.

If the pillow had any hobbies, they were wordless, soundless. Oh how she hoped darkness was on to something, and that the pillow secretly carried on a 007 life of adventure; Something sinful and dangerous, wild and ridiculous. A secret life of motion, martinis, fast cars, exotic locations. A place where pillow was always in its prime and at its fluffiest. A place where, when asked its name, you could hear it say, in true debonair fashion, Bond, Pillow Bond.

-Tosha Michelle

Underground

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He gives me a love story
for the underworld.

A tale with holes in the
pockets, and cracked mirrors

Serenades me with songs that
could kill spiders in frequency.

Revealing ardor distilled.
Solid? Vapor?

He forges a bridge,
spins me around.

I find breath in the
centripetal force.

We’re always lost somewhere
between either and neither,
between criss and cross

He jumps.
I fall.

Eyes closed,
following in his wake.

He makes a path
for me into
desirable delectable
or delectable destruction.

I sink, under and under,
inside a paradox.

I become the dark residue of
the earth on a moonless night,
where the sky doesn’t exist.

And still I don’t think
I’m there yet.

I’m still holding stones
between my teeth

Grasping for the promise of-
something sinful, after-

-Tosha Michelle

Only One

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She only wants to bare her body
to one man, only one to know her bones,
the sighs of her mouth, of her heart,
the naked parts of her soul.

Only one man to strip down her voice,
to breathe back her breath,
only one to know the wilderness of her desire,
to know only one man calls out to her in his dreams,
speaking her name as if it were pagan as if
it were a psalm.

She wants uncompromising totality, the near impossible breath
from water, fire, bare, possession unclothed, belonging to one man,
his being inside of her, the only one she wants
to want. His bones. Her bones. Belonging.

She wants one man, only one, to undress his soul for her only.
Knowing that it won’t always be easy
some nights his heart might ache
for the touch of new bones, the unknown breath,
the unclothed breath of someone less difficult,
but she will honor that ache and sooth it with her sweetness,
breath after loving breath, speaking to her one man,
her only.

-Tosha Michelle

Photo courtesy of lostkat

Seasoning the Seasons

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Remember youth, eating pizza at 3 a.m. and wearing t-shirts that declared anarchy? Remember the blind faith in yourself and the world? Looking back, I want that innocence. I want more of the sun, the garden, the high notes. I want time to stay green. Maybe if I pretend I can’t see it. I’ll be the ship sailing on an ocean of oblivion, not yet knowing I’m at the horizon’s mercy.

Is it really about time, though, or my desire for time? Do I want to spend my life avoiding the clock’s vibrations?

Come rest by me, take my hand and we’ll watch day stumble into evening. As I look into your soulful eyes. I think perhaps, I don’t want to be young again. Maybe it’s better if we invite every tragedy, and wisdom learned to sit here beside us. I want maturity rolling on our tongues when our mouths mate. I want the years naked between us, drinking from our wine.

Maybe, as we rest here in the stillness of twilight, the sky will open for us, showering us with petals and what we don’t want to see will seem softer, tender. And we’ll welcome whatever comes next with our t-shirts of wisdom, knowing there are still horizons yet to unfold.

-Tosha Michelle

Then Sings My Soul

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I once sang of faith
with unwavering clarity.
Certainty in every note.
The wild berry of a purple heart,
noble and true until hope unlatched,
fear reaching it’s breaking point.

How quickly the fruit
turnned bitter on my tongue.
Now I struggle to hold on
to the melody,
whispering my song
through broken lungs.

-Tosha Michelle