The Grudge 

Please feel free to skip straight to the poem if you aren’t a fan of my ramblings. 💕

Below is a poem I wrote eons ago. I thought I’d share it again.  It deals with anger and forgiveness. I’m a person who has always felt things greatly. If I love you, I probably always will. That doesn’t mean I’ll always like you, or keep you in the forefront of my mind. I’ve never been fickle when it comes to loyalty and empathy. However, I refuse to tolerate fickleness and emotional immaturity. If someone can’t see my worth or appreciate what I have to offer, then the loss is theirs.

 There was a time when I used to hold on to negative feelings when my heart was hurt. It took me awhile, but I finally realized how destructive that was. It just fostered so much resentment. Why give someone that kind of power over you? If they no longer want to be in your life, why allow them to take up space in your head?  I know it’s easy to feel like a sucker for the lost time and energy you’ve invested. One should never regret caring though. Every experience teaches us something. Turn the lesson into a blessing (as my Granny use to say)  

I’ve learned that forgiveness is the only way to move forward. You have to assess every situation and really look at the person’s motives. Sometimes, forgiveness is warranted. We all make mistakes.  Rarely, do we hurt each other with malicious intent. Sometimes, people just handle things badly due to a lack of maturity and strength. I’ve been that person. We all have.

Understand that you won’t always get an apology or closure. Sometimes, there is no resolution. This is where resentment can really take hold. Don’t let it!  Maybe, the person doesn’t deserve absolution, forgive them anyway. Some people are just stuck in a cycle of repeating the same self destructive patterns. That’s on them, not you. Remember, forgiveness isn’t always for the other person. Sometimes it’s just for you. Do it for yourself and your own peace of mind. 

My life has become so much better since I’ve learned to let things go of bitterness and a victim mentality. It’s not always easy, I have moments where I fall back into negativity. However, those moments are less and less. I’m in a really positive head space,  happier than I’ve been in ages, and excited by the future, I’m surrounded by people who truly love me. I feel cherished and appreciate.  SO grateful. 

Okay, if you made it this far, bless you! 💕A quote and then the poem.

The Grudge 

I watered the grudge with a
fervent devotion of a priest
giving communion. I watered
it with the determination of
a drunk on his fourth glass
of gin. The destructive
clockwork of a not so
righteous self.

The cactus in my heart
erupting. I watered it everyday
with a can of venom. My hands
blistering over from the hate.
The fluid and its dark nutrients
taking root, until the petals
bloomed over and clotted my
brain, until there was nothing
left but arid air, laced with
regret, and the silence of
time wasted. The stale
taste of a garden grown
on the wreckage of malice
Gone. The long reign of
bitterness. The tight reign
of hurt feelings. The shards
of anger, shaken from my
eyes. I finally see the sterile
landscape clearly.

How the realization stings.

-Tosha Michelle


Me. You. We. 

Thought for the day, a long one.

Individualism can be a positive thing. It’s wonderful to be self-reliant, independent, and focused on personal growth. However, it becomes less appealing when it turns into self-absorption. One of the reasons why I took a step back from social media a good while ago is because I found myself becoming too self-involved and too consumed with being liked online. It’s such an easy trap to fall in to. “Look at meeee”. “Notice me!” In the end, it’s exhausting and takes away from things that are truly important.

Of course, one of the ways we express our individualism is through the Internet. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The danger comes when it leads to self-absorption. Let’s face it, narcissism is an epidemic and social media is the root of its contagion. There’s this desire to be seen and admired. But what does it really get us? Does it improve our well-being? Life in my opinion, should not be defined by how popular we are online. Life should be defined by how we live and treat others. It’s also not so much about what we leave behind. How many times do we say, I want to leave a legacy behind? But what kind of legacy, one that’s all about us and our achievements or one that betters humanity?

One day we’re all going to turn to dust. What matters is the now. In the end, it’s not who we knew, or what we did. It’s how we lived that matters. We can write the greatest masterpiece or paint a scene that even Monet would envy but if we live a selfish, me-centered life we’re still going to be remembered as really cruddy human beings.

There’s just so much superficial bs on the internet. Just look at Instagram and all the so-called models. Okay, we get it; you’re handsome and, yes, you’re very pretty, but what else you got? What’s your soul made of? What are your thoughts on poverty and global warming? When was the last time you helped someone who was hurting? Better question, when the last time you thought of someone other than yourself?

Another scary thing about individualism aside from a self-centered mentality is that it can be isolating and a great deterrent to empathy. We are all over here living in our own little bubbles, meanwhile people are suffering, being abused or living in abject poverty. Empathy is so important. We have to be able to see things from other’s perspectives. We can’t do that if we’re constantly worrying about ourselves and our viewpoints. One just has to look at the current political climate to see what I’m talking about.

Okay, to be fair, social media isn’t the only culprit in this self-absorbed, individualistic trend. It also has a lot to do with our culture. The roots of our country are founded on independence. We also live in a wealthy nation, and that affluence can breed detachment. The more self-reliant we become, the less we depend on others. One would have to surmise that eventually this could lead to greater economic disparity. “Well as long as I’m not struggling.” However, if we don’t care about the less fortunate, who will?

I don’t know what the solution is. Maybe if we can find a balance between individualism and collectivism. In the latter, there’s a greater emphasis on others, people work together to promote change. Family and community are everything. I know for myself, I’m much happier when I get out of my head and think of humanity. My love ones are everything to me. My greatest joy is spending time with them. Of course, it’s okay to care about ourselves. We should be proud of our accomplishments and want to be liked. We should constantly be working on becoming a better human. I don’t begrudge anyone success and self-confidence, just not at the expense of others.

Let me close on a positive note. Those of us who live in the Western world have been blessed with much: civil liberties, the rule of law, democratic processes. Very few of us need to worry about being tortured or falsely arrested. We are blessed in many ways. Social media has it merits too. It can foster a lot of good. WP is an example of that. It’s lovely to see people sharing their creativity and supporting others. Social activism many times starts online. It can be a wonderful tool for rallying the proverbial troops. Facebook and its kind can be a platform for those who are lonely or shut in to connect with people globally. There’s a lot of goodness online and off. I’ve seen it in my daily life and in all of you.

Umm…just make sure you like and comment on all my posts, follow me on all my social media accounts, buy my latest book when it comes out, and notice my back to back to back workouts selfies on Insta. Baby got it going on, yo!

Sarcasm y’all.
Sarcasm. ❤️

-Tosha Michelle 

Monday Motivation 

Hello there fellow WP peeps. Happy Monday. I give you a song and some visual inspiration to start your wrek. Definitely want to do a cover of this beautiful tune. Listen below. I love these lyrics and song so much. It’s called “Higher I Will Go” Hope you like it as much as I do. 

“It’s gonna take some time to get there
/ And you gotta fight for what you love  /Gotta keep on pushing forward /Showing the world what you’re made of.

But there is a song, rising from the ashes /And there is a hope, that’s bigger than my fears /There is a love, stronger than my failures :And it’s callin’ me higher  

So Higher I Will Go”

And now for some Monday silliness and inspiration. 


They say time will tell,
but does it?

Why then
are we always asking?

It doesn’t even have a face,
just two hands that only
meet twice a day.

Why do we focus so
much on its passing?

We can’t change it.
Yet, we still seek answers.
Constantly questioning
leading to more of it lost.

We forget that time and
all its duplicity belongs
to us.

Time matters?
Only if wasted.

-Tosha Michelle

Valentines, Cupid, Judge Judy, and A Poem.

Oh and flowers, candy, kittens, and the newest Kindle. Reading is fundamental. 😍Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful ones. Don’t you roll your eyes at me! 😜  Whether you’re single or in a committed relationship, today can be a wonderful time not only to celebrate the love of your life, but also the love IN your life. Love is beautiful in all its forms. You might also want to remember how truly special you are. Shoot yourself with a bow of self love, not literally of course. “But your honor, she told me too” 😙

Before this turns into Judge Judy, here’s a new poem of mine. But first Tucker has a message for you all.​

​Wishing you all the love that you can handle, and chocolate too.❤️

Sometimes love finds us
where there’s history,
in a tapestry that refuses
to be worn away.
Proving that nothing truly
loved is forgotten.
Here you can rest for days
and leave the map.
The sullen iciness of days
misspent, replaced by the
warmth of the sun’s gaze.
Hearts touched by the
grace of transparency.
Standing on soulful, solid
ground, grateful for the earth,
and the tenderness it returns.
Knowing nothing is endless,
all beginnings end, but
solace is found in each moment,
loved and loving.

-Tosha Michelle

Eyes Wide Open 

My eye has almost healed. Yay! Still a little red but looking  straighter. The final alignment takes a few months. Will update with another photo then. 

 Enough of me and my eye journey. I did want to share because this is huge for me, especially since it improved my vision a bit.  Now here’s some music to get our Sunday off to a tuneful start  Lots of love❤️  -Tosha 

Life’s Afternoons

Life’s afternoons pass quickly
The buzz. The bark. The lilies.
Take notices of these things.
Eat the pear. Find meaning in the sea, the clouds, the elms.
Listen to the song of the birds,
the solitaires, the chamber music of the air.
Know sometimes the sky will
darken, but eventually the overcast grey will lighten.

Take the long way home.
Crown yourself with constellations.
Lounge under the grand oak.
Don’t be afraid to walk toward
the cliff’s edge.
If you fall. Find the lesson in
a halo broken.

Bend close to the curves of ears of those you love, tell them how much you care. If words dissolve on your tongue,
give them the warmth of your arms instead.

Believe in the call notes of
your heart. Store up the
soul’s rubies and sapphires.
Drink up all the moonlight
you can.
Be more than just a stray wind.
While you’re alive, live
have faith in the possibilities,
the thorns, the rosehip, and
the ever changing pitch of
afternoons well spent.

-Tosha Michelle