So many things in life are temporal,
even friendship and love
Yet we never stop searching for
someone to hold onto when the
streets flood and our peace
becomes a distant shore.
We still love, love even when
we have no boat and are left
with one cracked paddle.
We remember times better
The days of umbrellas
and raincoats
Splashing in the mud.
The days before
the river overflowed
The backyard deep with
water and regret.
Sunken hope and sunflowers
crushed
We recall only the beauty
of an embrace,
the lovely cadence of
heartfelt laughter.
We find a bittersweet solace
in the pain of two souls divided
Tossed in different directions.
We wonder why we were
chosen to live
this life and not another.
Why do foundations slide?
Why do rivers flood?
Then left with the morning after,
we know we must put our
questions aside, understanding
that enduring loss sometimes
is the only way to start over
We clean up, rebuild.
taking note of the
sunshine and bright skies
And if we’re lucky we finally
find the warmth that’s meant
only for us.
-Tosha Michelle
If you liked to help children in SC and NC effected by Hurricane Florence, you can donate here:
I love this song so much. See below. It’s so very relatable. I feel it to my core every time I listen to it. We all have times in our lives where we lose ourselves and feel a disconnect from the person we use to be.I’ve been there. It’s incredibly painful. Life can be so unpredictable and hard. Thankfully, it can be really beautiful too.
“She Used To Be Mine” is from the Broadway musical Waitress which was adapted from the 2007 film, that starred Keri Russell. Both the film and the musical are excellent. The Youtube is from the 2016 Tony Awards and it will bring tears to your eyes. It’s just that powerful of a performance.
Lyrics
It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl
She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine
It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ‘til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine
When I was a child
how I love to dress
my face in a book.
Entering worlds I’ve
never known.
I’d hide behind the cover.
discovering secret gardens,
children in boxcars, and
little women decked out
in petticoats.
On summer nights when
I could be coaxed out of
the books I loved.
My brother and I would
chase fireflies and play
Mother May I under
the backyard lights.
We were safe then under
the stars and constellations.
These were the years of
innocence and freedom
As a child you don’t notice
things like the moon losing
itself to the sky, or the cold
touch of the air.
As an adult you’re more apt
to notice the bee, the sting
the thorn, the horsewhip
Yet there’s still the beauty
of stories in a book and
nature’s sweet allure .
Sitting on a porch swing
the wind blowing hazily
Losing yourself in words
The call of distant shores,
The lure of courtships and
rosehip. In these times the
world brightens. The mind
alive with a gentle pitch
No need to rush or fuss
The sun refuses to faltered
Your soul becomes supernatural
Life’s frailties for a moment abated .
-Tosha Michelle
The ending of this video is perfection (as the music ends and the last chapter begins). 💕
I’m really enjoying having lowlights in my hair and the fact that it is finally just about to my shoulders. It’s the simple things, folks.
Interesting article below on blocking friends and family on social media after a fall out. Personally, I’ve never blocked someone I’ve cared about and who has truly cared about me. It just always struck me as mean and disrespectful. I’m an adult and if I have an issue with you, I’ll simply say so, If I trusted you at one point with my love and friendship, I have to trust you’re mature enough to respect my wishes when things end. Note, I will block perverts and stalker types with no regret. I just think people who were important to us deserve better than to be treated like the aforementioned Unless the relationship ended on a hateful note or harassment is involved. One thing for certain blocking sends a clear message that you want a person gone, never to be heard from again. It’s the ultimate Fudge you! 🤓lhttps://www.theodysseyonline.com/psychological-strain-behind-blocking-someone-on-social-media
I’ve gotten back into wearing eyeliner and mascara most days. I’m loving Nars Larger than Life Long wear Eyeliner and Charlotte Tilbury Full Fat Lashes.
Remember these? A pop sensation for your mouth . Yes, I’m really 12. ha!
If you haven’t seen the HBO documentary on Senator John McCain, you should check it out. May he rest in peace. He seemed like a man who cared about America and not just his party. Imagine if bipartisan became the norm. What a strange and wonderful world it would be.
On another TV note is anyome watching Castle Rock on Hula? If so, who or what is “the kid” Two more episodes left of this season. Such a mind twister You really have to pay attention to follow everything that’s going on.
I’m so happy it’s almost fall, lots of fun things in the works with my favorite people. I can’t wait to break out the sweaters and hot chocolate.
I give you simply the best milkshake ever. The Misto.
On a film note, I watched “Mother” last night. It came out last year and stars Jennifer Lawrence. Biblical allegories played a huge role in the plot, but goodness was it violent and bizarre.
What’s a blog post without a picture of the rock star cat being fabulous
So me
My birthday was yesterday and I got this card from my youngest daughter . She’s funny
You all can blame my buddy Casey for what follows. He encourages my list madness. You can check out his poetry here. http://www.scurvyq52.wordpress.com He’s guaranteed to shiver your timbers. Just ask his beautiful wife and devoted readers. (This ad paid for by Casey and the Pirates of Jacksonville) 😎
And now I give you (and C-Man) twenty facts about myself . What are some facts about you? I’d love to know more about you and your world.
Tosh Twenty
1. I’ve battled depression and anxiety on and off for years, since I was a teen really. I worry a lot and mostly about things thaf haven’t even happened. Thankfully, I’ve learned to cope. One thing that has helped me is focusing on others. It gets me out of my head and allows me to direct my energy towards something positive.
2. I’m super affectionate and outgoing with my family and friends, but can be shy and reserved with people I don’t know well. I also can go quiet if I’m upset about something or just lost in a daydream.
3. I can usually find the good in most situations. I’m fairly easygoing with moments of anarchy and rebellion.
4. I use humor as a buffer when my emotions start to overwhelm me. This creates a false narrative and deflect what I’m really struggling with. I find it hard to be vulnerable with most people. It’s easier to just joke and play off what I’m feeling.
5. When I was little and my brother was born, people would asked me what I thought of the new baby. I would always reply in a serious and reflective tone, “He’s okay except for his face”. Pretty much still holds true today. Haha! Not really.
6. I use words like nifty and neat.
7. I think I would have made an excellent flapper girl, were it not for being born in the wrong decade, and the gusto to which I apply tripping over my own feet.
8. I don’t get dark chocolate, skinny jeans, Donald Trump, kale, math, Wal-Mart, or why Andy Cohen is popular.
9. I love James Corbin, Jimmy Fallon, John Cleese, John Legend, and the letter J. 😁
10. I think it might be cool to live in a lighthouse and turn ir into a B and B.
11. I’ve really gotten into cooking recently Believe me no one is more surprised than me. I’m trying new recipes and enjoying it. Dinner at my house everyone. Bring wine, roses are optional. Chocolate is demanded.
12. I’m quiet happy to stay home and watch Netflix or read a book. Currently watching “The Staircase” It’s about the Michael Peterson trial. I can be a real homebody.
13. However, I do enjoy days and nights out Love trying new restaurants and just walking around town. I also enjoy festivals, concerts, Sunday drives, plays,sightseeing and traveling
14. I t’s like a constant ticker tape parade in my head because of this, I need lots of creative outlets. Currently into writing, painting, singing, and practicing my hip hop moves 😜
15. My friend Misty and I will be releasing a poetry book in December.
16. Fun fact- I’ve learned that sometimes the people you care about and do the most for are the ones that will hurt you the hardest I’m not sure why that is. Forgive and forget though. If you can’t do that, as my Granny use to say, “Pray for them.” . Dear Lord, please let a flower pot fall in their stupid head” kidding! Refer back to number 4 on the list
17. My dream jobs are as follows being a profiler for the FBI, hosting a home interior show on HGTV, being a Broadway darling, or having my own organic skincare line.
18. I’m going to Salem Massachusetts and Portland Maine the last week of October. Excited to see New England in the fall. It looks so pretty. I’m particularly excited to see The House of Seven Gables, Longfellow’s digs, the art of Winslow Homer, Cape Elizabeth, and of course The Holy Doughnut. Okay, mostly the latter, but I’m sure the rest will be cool too. 😆
19. I love food, but my taste is sort of pedestrian. Yes, I eat people walking on the street .😜
20. I have every beauty and anti-aging gadget known to man. I’m not getting any younger so I really try and take care of my skin. I’m also afraid of needles and knives so doing noninvasive things at home is the route I’m taking. These little machines have made such a HUGE difference. I will use them for the rest of my life. I think I look pretty good to be turning 106. 😜
Bomus fact
I’ve loved to be a beauty blogger but I think I’m more suited to write on the adventures of being a dork. Ha!🤓
Music and a nod to a fact on my list. This song always cheers me up. 🍸
There are those people
who don’t need to look at you
to really see you.
They see you as you are.
Your lesser than moments
The sadness that is opulent
in you.
They’ll love you whether you’re
noteless or the feature story
written in the best of you,
whether your feet are sinking
in quicksand, or lost among dandelions
and slippery grass.
They’ll love your voice when it
deepens with life’s desire
or breaks with the frost of despair.
These are the ones who will
revive you when you’re barely alive.
When the sky loses it’s luster,
they’ll eat the clouds for you.
They’ll never be just a drifting
wind. or a splintering shadow,
a stray unimpressed with your
offering wandering off.
These people are your constants,
leaves that don’t flinch in the bitter air.
Forever entwined in your heart.
Immovable, no matter how much the branches
of your soul may shutter.
There are those people who
don’t need to look at you to
really see you.
They see you in the darkest
ravine or the midday sunlight of the pines.
These people are the backdrop
of your life, the stars who crown
you on your long walk home.
These are those you
sing the song of yourself too.
The ones who hear the potential
in every note.
And remind you of the words
when you forget how the
melody goes.
Hello lovelies. It’s a Salinger kind of day. Last night I rewatched a fairly good documentary that’s been out for more than a minute on the famed author. I’ve always been a little jealous of Salinger’s hermit lifestyle and his talent for prose and oddness. He was an enigma to be sure.
In the documentary, aptly titled Salinger filmmaker Shane Salerno examines the life and works of this strangely beautiful man. The film is compelling and inspiring. There’s also never before seen footage of Salinger. Like most of us he had his flaws and quirks. The documentary presents these complexity in a fair way. I’m not going to do a full review, as I’m writing a lot for my new job, but if you haven’t seen it, it’s definitely worth a gander. I’ve also starting rereading his short stories RAISE HIGH THE ROOFBEAMS, CARPENTERS.
In honor of Salinger. I give you a few quotes, one of my infamous list and a tune. There’s always a tune!
“Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them—if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry.”
“I’m sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.”
“People are always ruining things for you.”
“I wouldn’t exactly describe her as strictly beautiful. She knocked me out, though.”
And..
Which brings me to my list of likes and dislikes
Likes…
Genuine people
Weird people
Nerdy people
Loyalty
deep conversations
Nature
Quiet
Hot showers
Sweater weather
big hugs
Long walks
dresses
being female
Mac lipstick
burgers
chocolate
Singing for any reason
This is Us
Nights in
Nights out
Holding hands
Cuddles
Kisses
Silliness
Music
Documentaries
Simple things
fancy things
sleep
Dislikes….
being treated like
you never mattered by
people who swore they would
never hurt you.
liars
Phoney people
Rude people
Selfish people
Fickle people
Big egos
blockheads
Mornings
Goodbyes
sleepless nights
Donald Trump
Math
Humidity
Loud nosies
Anxiety
injustices
Kale
Parties
Small talk
unsweeten tea
Waiting on anything
What are some of your likes and dislikes? Which category would you place Salinger? How about me? 😜
Everything I Never Told You 
