Category: Random musings

The Liebster Award 

Published on by Tosha Michelle68 Comments


I haven’t participated in the WP awards in ages, but having been nominated by the wonderful and inspiring…
https://emergingfromthedarknight.wordpress.com/2018/05/26/the-liebster-award/
I felt I couldn’t refuse. Please check out this amazing blog.

Oh to participate you :

Shake the hand of the person who nominated you with gratitude, providing a link to their blog.

Provide answers to the 11 questions they gave you.

List 11 fun facts about yourself.

Here goes 

1. If you were granted one wish what would it be? This sounds so trite and beauty contestant silly, but world peace. There’s just so much chaos and hate out there , it would be lovely to live in a world without both.

2. What is your favourite season and why? Fall. It’s just a magical time of year. The air almost sparkles. I swear I’m not drunk… yet. Kidding 

3. Have you ever had your heart badly broken? By whom? A few times and always by people I loved dearly. I guess that’s why they call it heart broken. The wonderful thing is there’s usually something better in stone for us. No sense holding on to something that hurts you. Love the people who love you.  They’re the ones who matter. 

4. What makes you cry? Aside from heartbreak, everything . Ha! Injustices, sappy movies, songs, every time I consider who the president is. 

5. What makes you laugh? My family, friends, Jom Stewart, my morning mirror self..

6. What person inspires you most on your journey of life and why? My parents. I can’t pick just one They’re both amazing people who never back down   They have taught me so much and passed on a love for reading, music and nature 

7. Who is your favourite author? F. Scott Fitzgerald. He had such a lyrical style 

8. What is your favourite food? Spaghetti   Yum!

9. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? I’d be less critical of myself  

10. What is your most treasured possession and why? My sanity. Ha! I have a few special items that I hold dear.

11. What do you think the most important quality in a person is? Loyalty and kindness. Again, I couldn’t pick just one.🙂

11 Facta About Me

1. I love anything vintage 

2. My mom almost named me Suki

3. I’m random and prone to break into a song at odd times 

4, My celebrity crush is James Purefoy 

5. I’m a fast reader. I usually read 3 books a week 

6. I’m clumsy but not clueless 

7. When I was a child, my nickname was Jabber Jaws

8. Despite that, I am an introvert, prone to bouts of shyness and social anxiety.

9. My favorite song is “Falling Slowly” 

10. I have no time for shallow minded, fickleness. 

11. I currently have these lyrics stuck in my head, British accents and all “We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control.”

And now…

Provide a list of your own 11 questions.

Nominate 11 other bloggers by providing links to their blogs.
I can’t pick just 11 bloggers so this is for anyone who would like to participate.

Here goes:

1. If you were a mixed drink, what would you be?
2. What’s the theme song of your life?
3. How would you define yourself in three words?
4. What got you into blogging?
5. If you could only look at one cityscape for the rest of your life, which would it be?
6. Coke or Pepsi?
7. What does your perfect day look like?
8. Favorite song?
9. What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever heard?
10. How would you define love?
11. What’s the best advice someone has ever given you?

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Sanity 

Published on by Tosha Michelle20 Comments

You have to let go of what is hurting you. You can’t keep rewriting the same story, especially when the ending never changes. There’s only so many revisions you can make. Some stories weren’t meant to have a happy ending, some stories were meant to be left incomplete
Sometimes you have to find the courage to put the old narrative away and write a new story.
Have a great weekend everyone 💕

Random Wisdom

Published on by Tosha Michelle10 Comments

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“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

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“Show me a hero, and I’ll write you a tragedy.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

Published on by Tosha Michelle5 Comments

F. Scott Fitzgerald ❤❦♪♫

My relationship with F. Scott Fitzgerald has evolved over the years, but he is still one of the great literary loves of my life. I discovered him at 11 years old when my aunt gave me a copy of The Great Gatsby.. I read it all in one go. After that,  I was hooked and quick to read anything Fitzgerald had ever written.  In middle school and high school, I was taken by the romance of it all. His books were magical; the parties, the glamour, those beautiful lyrical prose.  It was only after I was older and began reading about Fitzgerald’s life that I truly came to understand the depth of his work.  

Life for a while was a great shindig for Fitzgerald.  He married the love if his life, the belle of the ball, his first book This Side of Paradise was a huge success, but so much can change in a decade. Success is fleeting, the belle would stray, be forgiven, go mad and end up in an asylum. Fitzgerald would lose himself in gin and insecurities.  He would die of a heart attack at the young age of 44 at a time when he was just finding his creative voice again.

Fitzgerald is not unlike you or me. He was man who understood grey, the fading of the seasons, the sting and zing of a lived life.  I hope he is at peace, his final chapter written much too soon.  When I am in a particular melancholy mood, I read Fitzgerald’s work and let his words guide me, Knowing that the man behind the text understood life’s nuances, that dreams are often lost in the dirty laundry, that the heart is constantly bending itself and being reshaped, that often failure is just a deceptive voice, that we have to move with the taste of change and finally, that everything has a conclusion. Or does it? Fitzgerald’s words will last long after our cars are replaced with hearses, his ancient ledger of living verbs, nouns, and adjectives, a future pearl for a new generation.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m feeling a bit blue today. Gatsby is calling, like a hidden note, I wonder what his pages will reveal today.

“It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

F. Scott Fitzgerald ❤❦♪♫

F. Scott Fitgerald ❤❦♪♫

❤❦♪♫

Climb Out of The Brown Paper Bag

Published on by Tosha Michelle6 Comments

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16.4 million children living in poverty.
14,500 to 17,500 people, primarily women and children, trafficked to the U.S. annually.
Unemployment rate of 9 percent
$16 trillion dollars in debt

However, all politicians seem to do is party in semantics over party semantics. Their philosophy- how do I keep myself in power and not how can we possibly ameliorate humanity. Instead of serving the people, they serve themselves and help themselves to a fist full of dollars. Instead of protecting the interests of the people; they protect the corporations, and in return the corporations protect them- in a turgid, tacit agreement that can be compared to blind patriotism. They are no less than mannequin pimps with pens, who have acquired a penchant for back stabbing the people who put them in power. It needs to stop. It’s time to take the money out of politics and put the humanity back in.

Staying in my soap box for a moment, in my opinion, politics and Facebook don’t mix. I’ve been suckered into a few debates on the state of our country. They always end with hurt feelings and bent out of shape noses. However, I respect people’s right to express their views (even the one I find appalling) Note, I’m not a big fan of the Fox News crowd.

What sickens me is the dissension and polarization I see. It’s one thing to feel passionately about one’s beliefs. It is another, when one tries to bash those beliefs down another’s throat. There is no civility in politics anymore. There is no civility among Americans anymore. Perhaps, there never was. I just hope we find a touch of empathy in ourselves.

Sometimes, it’s not just about flags, or guns (the left…the right) Sometimes, it’s about innocent lives lost. Sometimes, it’s about acknowledging that racism is alive and well. It’s about finding proactive ways to fight oppression. It’s about asking ourselves; how can we end the senseless noise of senseless bickering? How can we love more and hate less?

We now return you to your regular schedule blog of poetry and randomness.

Friendships, reality, perceptions and a guy named Bill.

Published on by Tosha Michelle5 Comments

Are online friendships “real”? Is anything really real? It all comes down to perception. Don’t we invent our own reality? Does absolute reality exist? Isn’t matter completely invisible? Isn’t our reality defined by our sense perception? If reality is invisible, and we give it form; is it real? What does it all mean? I haven’t got a clue. I’m paging the great Dr. Mark Kingwell, philosopher on call.

Let’s take the word “real” out of the equation and focus on what friendship means. (Perception)

What constitutes a friend? It boils down to an individual’s needs. For myself, I am not a people person. I don’t need a constant physical presence to feel fulfilled. To me, a friend is someone who gives emotional support, who is there to listen and, with whom I can be myself. I choose quality over quantity. I have many associates but few friends. I’m very selective with whom I open up to. Some of my friends I have yet to meet in “real life”. However, I have spent countless hours on the phone with them. I’m always there to lend an ear. I support their projects. If they needed me, I would be there. We share our secrets, our woes, our highs and lows ((there second nature to me now) Friends are a source of growth and enrichment. Other friendships have started online and ended up offline. I’ve been really blessed. I’ve met some truly amazing people. There’s a closeness there that supersedes the physical.

In our contemporary society, making friends online is the new norm. Social media has changed the landscape of friendship. The ease now in which we can keep in touch is incredible. What I do online and offline are completely interwoven. Intimacy now develops in both the physical and online realms, often crossing freely between the two. The beauty of online friendships lies in their mutability in my purse, on my screen, in the comfort of my home. As time goes on, I think the distinction between on- and offline friendships will dissipate. That doesn’t mean that we are doom to a life, of tweets and emails. It simply means that the person we meet in the virtual realm is no longer a stranger, but someone we know and trust.

Brief thoughts on poetry.

Published on by Tosha Michelle15 Comments

Poetic-Justice

Poetry is the coupling of beauty and imagination. It can evoke the strongest of emotions and touch the soul. Of all kinds of literature, it is the most pleasing, stirring, and stimulating. Everyone should read poetry. Acquire the works of the greats: Shakespeare, Goethe, Tennyson, Heine. Read them thoughtfully; mark passages and revisit them many times. A poem is like an instrument—it must be played and practiced on many times before it reveals its tenderest nuances.

Quotes on Poetry

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.
-Robert Frost

When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man’s concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
-John F. Kennedy

Poetry is the one place where people can speak their original human mind. It is the outlet for people to say in public what is known in private.
-Allen Ginsberg

Poetry is not only dream and vision; it is the skeleton architecture of our lives. It lays the foundations for a future of change, a bridge across our fears of what has never been before.
-Audre Lorde

Song of the day (watch me undermine my credibility)

Dominant Me.

Published on by Tosha Michelle5 Comments

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Why are women drawn to “dominant males”?  The Bloodhound Gang summed it up nicely “You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals. So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.” It’s a biological tale as old as the dawn of time.  It comes down to survival and mating. In the animal kingdom, alpha males have the sperm that make all the female hippos and lions come to the yard.

According to Parental Investment Theory, “reproduction is much more costly for females than it is for males. While women invest nine months in a pregnancy, a man’s initial contribution to parenthood boils down to just a few minutes.” Thus, women need to be particularly selective when it comes to choosing a mate. Aside from a man’s resources, his genetic gifts are decisive in the selection process. One analysis from UCLA found that when women are ovulating, they are drawn to men with masculine builds, symmetrical facial features, and dominant behavior. The assumption being, if he can command in life, he and his sperm can command in the bedroom.

Biology aside, most women aren’t into loudmouth, know it all, controlling, misogynistic a-holes. We don’t need a micro-manger, a baby sitter, or a condescending prick. Being a dominant male does not have to equate with being a miscreant.   Verbal, physical, and sexual abuse is never okay, despite what the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy would have you believe. There’s a vast different between being a gentleman in the street and a rock star beast in the bedroom and being a bastard on the street and a predatory creep in the bedroom.  Rough sex is hot. Brutality is not.

Lastly, there’s something to be said for the rare breed of men who are dominant as well as chivalrous.  Nothing is more appealing than a man who knows how to be direct, believes in himself, and isn’t scared to take charge, especially if he wields those traits with kindness and respect. It’s an unbeatable combination. You hear that “good guys”? We women do want a nice guy, but we want to know you can throw down in the bedroom and the battleground.

Self Help to Self Harm: The Dubious Guide to Life, Love, and Relationships.

Published on by Tosha Michelle7 Comments

I really hate self promotion. My friend Andy is a pro at it. I’m borrowing a page from him. Please check out my latest book

Self Help to Self Harm: The Dubious Guide to Life, Love, and Relationships.

Hey, I didn’t say the page I borrowed wasn’t obnoxious. The Bold and Annoying.

But I digress ( don’t I always?)

Self Help to Self Harm: The Dubious Guide to Life, Love, and Relationships. (can’t stop, won’t stop)

is a humorous, tongue-in-cheek look at life, love, and relationships, tempered by moments of serious introspection. This book won’t get you laid, help you lose ten pounds, cure your addictions, or draw you closer to God or Starbucks (whatever you worship).

Way to sell it, right? Hopefully, it will make you chuckle and cause you to rethink your One Direction hate.

You can purchase the book here:

http://amzn.com/0692417400

If you like it,  I’d really appreciate if you would consider leaving a review on Amazon, GoodReads, and Barnes&Noble. If you don’t like it..well…keep that sh** to yourself. Kidding.

Miss. Nothing

Published on by Tosha Michelle4 Comments

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1. Real beauty- the kind you find in museums and great literature- is eternal. True beauty comes from the soul and touches the spirit. Note  to all the jerks out there- it’s not about cup size or the shape of the thighs. It’s about the condition of the heart and the state of the mind.

2.Pet peeve- Fickle people who are only interested in the next best thing. Human beings are not expendable. Sincerity and genuine affection carry much more weight than false flattery.  I don’t understand having an ADD-like mindset when it comes to friendship. End rant. Cue silliness.

3. Do people who use the expression “cray cray” know how “stew stew” they sound? (ugh)

4. What’s up with the smiles, Pepperidge Farm’s Goldfish? We are so going to eat you! Cue philosophical thought

5. Don’t wait on people to love you. Lead the way. Be a compass of kindness and compassion.

7. The authentic you is beautiful. If you want to impress, be yourself. Trust me, “realness” is a precious commodity. I strive to always be genuine (at times, to my detriment)

8. Speak your truth. Love without conditions. Live without limitations. Count your blessings. Life is fleeting.

9. If you can’t be polite, kindly keep you mouth shut. Manners matter.

10. On Monday, I get to speak to one of my favorite intellectuals- Author and Philosopher -Professor, Mark Kingwell The nerd in me can’t wait.. He doesn’t have a pretentious bone in his body. Mark a true delight to listen to. It’s going to be a fun and illuminating hour. (stoked)

Tune in here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/laliteraticarpelibrum/2015/04/27/the-return-of-philosopher-and-author-mark-kingwell

Miss. Nothing.

Final Thoughts:

The mark of a true rebel (to me) is a person who fights against apathy, who embraces their humanity and looks beyond the surface. It easy to be mean spirited, selfish, materialistic, and shallow. It takes heart and tenacity to embrace traits like honesty, integrity, compassion, kindness, and loyalty.

It’s not about taking the moral high ground. No one is better than anyone else. We don’t all have to believe a certain way or be a certain way. But it sure would be nice if everyone could embrace love, forget about hate, and learn to live in harmony. Hey, a girl can dream. By the way, my rebel wears a suit, smells like Dior, and is handy with a wrench, a pen, and frying pan.

Anyway, gather round, children. Let’s all hold hands and sing a rousing rendition of Kumbayah.