Category: Music
Queens and Important Things
Hey y’all. Happy Monday. As sone of you know I’ve been working in the research fiekd of criminal justice. I’m hoping to move on to a job with The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I really just want to make a difference in the lives of hurting people. Sometimes I think we get too caught up in how others can help us, or we want to impact the world in a way that has more to fo with our egos than the greater good. It’s such a selfish way to be. I don’t want to be that person.
There’s something beautiful in stewardship. I’m always more content with my life when I take the focus off myself and place it on others. Self reflection is needed on occasion, but self absorption will just makes you a selfish jerk. I can’t spend that much time inside my own head, it’s bell jar material. Listen, it’s okay to be pro you but we mustn’t forget to be pro others too.
On a lighter note, Kelly is my queen. Love this song. Het range is incredible It’s an empowering tune. Back on Friday with a poem. See you xx
She Used To Be Mine
I love this song so much. See below. It’s so very relatable. I feel it to my core every time I listen to it. We all have times in our lives where we lose ourselves and feel a disconnect from the person we use to be.I’ve been there. It’s incredibly painful. Life can be so unpredictable and hard. Thankfully, it can be really beautiful too.
“She Used To Be Mine” is from the Broadway musical Waitress which was adapted from the 2007 film, that starred Keri Russell. Both the film and the musical are excellent. The Youtube is from the 2016 Tony Awards and it will bring tears to your eyes. It’s just that powerful of a performance.
Lyrics
It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl
She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine
It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ‘til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine
Songwriters: Sara Bareilles
She Used to Be Mine lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
In honor of the girl I used to be, I have brought back my bangs or fringe as the British say. It was time for a change. A new hair beginning. Ha!
Storybook Endings
When I was a child
how I love to dress
my face in a book.
Entering worlds I’ve
never known.
I’d hide behind the cover.
discovering secret gardens,
children in boxcars, and
little women decked out
in petticoats.
On summer nights when
I could be coaxed out of
the books I loved.
My brother and I would
chase fireflies and play
Mother May I under
the backyard lights.
We were safe then under
the stars and constellations.
These were the years of
innocence and freedom
As a child you don’t notice
things like the moon losing
itself to the sky, or the cold
touch of the air.
As an adult you’re more apt
to notice the bee, the sting
the thorn, the horsewhip
Yet there’s still the beauty
of stories in a book and
nature’s sweet allure .
Sitting on a porch swing
the wind blowing hazily
Losing yourself in words
The call of distant shores,
The lure of courtships and
rosehip. In these times the
world brightens. The mind
alive with a gentle pitch
No need to rush or fuss
The sun refuses to faltered
Your soul becomes supernatural
Life’s frailties for a moment abated .
-Tosha Michelle
The ending of this video is perfection (as the music ends and the last chapter begins). 💕
She Carries On
She’s been taken down
by the moon.
Forgotten by the air.
The stars affixed to some
other someone had no time
to care
She’s felt her soul.
break, then drop.
There’s been pain
and muted mutters.
Her life madness-
after-hours spent
after wishing.
There’s a ditch
and then the digging out.
only to find some jerk
is burning brush at the top.
She’ll turn the seared ashes
into shimmer and lace.
with a smirk and a wink.
she tears the wolves apart.
Knowing there’s still time for
another dance, another daring kiss.
Life is all in the darkening.
The brightening.
Her eyes lit.
Her face flush.
She wraps herself
in flames and carries on.
-Tosha Michelle
Lowlights, Mascara, Blockbusters, Myth makers, Heartbreakers. (And the Rest)
- I’m really enjoying having lowlights in my hair and the fact that it is finally just about to my shoulders. It’s the simple things, folks.
- Interesting article below on blocking friends and family on social media after a fall out. Personally, I’ve never blocked someone I’ve cared about and who has truly cared about me. It just always struck me as mean and disrespectful. I’m an adult and if I have an issue with you, I’ll simply say so, If I trusted you at one point with my love and friendship, I have to trust you’re mature enough to respect my wishes when things end. Note, I will block perverts and stalker types with no regret. I just think people who were important to us deserve better than to be treated like the aforementioned Unless the relationship ended on a hateful note or harassment is involved. One thing for certain blocking sends a clear message that you want a person gone, never to be heard from again. It’s the ultimate Fudge you! 🤓lhttps://www.theodysseyonline.com/psychological-strain-behind-blocking-someone-on-social-media
- I’ve gotten back into wearing eyeliner and mascara most days. I’m loving Nars Larger than Life Long wear Eyeliner and Charlotte Tilbury Full Fat Lashes.
- Remember these? A pop sensation for your mouth . Yes, I’m really 12. ha!
- If you haven’t seen the HBO documentary on Senator John McCain, you should check it out. May he rest in peace. He seemed like a man who cared about America and not just his party. Imagine if bipartisan became the norm. What a strange and wonderful world it would be.
- On another TV note is anyome watching Castle Rock on Hula? If so, who or what is “the kid” Two more episodes left of this season. Such a mind twister You really have to pay attention to follow everything that’s going on.
- I’m so happy it’s almost fall, lots of fun things in the works with my favorite people. I can’t wait to break out the sweaters and hot chocolate.
- I give you simply the best milkshake ever. The Misto.
- On a film note, I watched “Mother” last night. It came out last year and stars Jennifer Lawrence. Biblical allegories played a huge role in the plot, but goodness was it violent and bizarre.
- What’s a blog post without a picture of the rock star cat being fabulous
- So me
- My birthday was yesterday and I got this card from my youngest daughter . She’s funny
- My favorite family to watch on YouTube. The kids are super adorable! https://youtu.be/mFUKjbUYCcI
It’s Enough
It’s enough to just have
an idea about love.
Sometimes it’s rooted in
nostalgia, other times it’s
planted firmly in the now.
Regardless, we follow our
heartstrings through
the atmosphere even
if the notes make no sense.
We fall through sunlight
and burn ourselves out.
Dizzy with something unbridled
We don’t think about what the
sky might do
or how thw shadows might
distort or disappear.
We don’t count the moments
before we fell.
Or how the wild bees sting.
Above us. Below us, we just
see the blue hiding behind
the clouds.
Sometimes it’s enough to
just recall the days of
scarlet breasted birds
winging it, the scent of
honeysuckles, confetti winds
and lawn daisies
Knowing the Earth brightens
with just the idea of love.
And sometimes that knowing is enough.
Tosha Michelle
Do I?
Happy Friday. A feel good song and true words.. Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend ❤️
2020
You all can blame my buddy Casey for what follows. He encourages my list madness. You can check out his poetry here. http://www.scurvyq52.wordpress.com He’s guaranteed to shiver your timbers. Just ask his beautiful wife and devoted readers. (This ad paid for by Casey and the Pirates of Jacksonville) 😎
And now I give you (and C-Man) twenty facts about myself . What are some facts about you? I’d love to know more about you and your world.
Tosh Twenty
1. I’ve battled depression and anxiety on and off for years, since I was a teen really. I worry a lot and mostly about things thaf haven’t even happened. Thankfully, I’ve learned to cope. One thing that has helped me is focusing on others. It gets me out of my head and allows me to direct my energy towards something positive.
2. I’m super affectionate and outgoing with my family and friends, but can be shy and reserved with people I don’t know well. I also can go quiet if I’m upset about something or just lost in a daydream.
3. I can usually find the good in most situations. I’m fairly easygoing with moments of anarchy and rebellion.
4. I use humor as a buffer when my emotions start to overwhelm me. This creates a false narrative and deflect what I’m really struggling with. I find it hard to be vulnerable with most people. It’s easier to just joke and play off what I’m feeling.
5. When I was little and my brother was born, people would asked me what I thought of the new baby. I would always reply in a serious and reflective tone, “He’s okay except for his face”. Pretty much still holds true today. Haha! Not really.
6. I use words like nifty and neat.
7. I think I would have made an excellent flapper girl, were it not for being born in the wrong decade, and the gusto to which I apply tripping over my own feet.
8. I don’t get dark chocolate, skinny jeans, Donald Trump, kale, math, Wal-Mart, or why Andy Cohen is popular.
9. I love James Corbin, Jimmy Fallon, John Cleese, John Legend, and the letter J. 😁
10. I think it might be cool to live in a lighthouse and turn ir into a B and B.
11. I’ve really gotten into cooking recently Believe me no one is more surprised than me. I’m trying new recipes and enjoying it. Dinner at my house everyone. Bring wine, roses are optional. Chocolate is demanded.
12. I’m quiet happy to stay home and watch Netflix or read a book. Currently watching “The Staircase” It’s about the Michael Peterson trial. I can be a real homebody.
13. However, I do enjoy days and nights out Love trying new restaurants and just walking around town. I also enjoy festivals, concerts, Sunday drives, plays,sightseeing and traveling
14. I t’s like a constant ticker tape parade in my head because of this, I need lots of creative outlets. Currently into writing, painting, singing, and practicing my hip hop moves 😜
15. My friend Misty and I will be releasing a poetry book in December.
16. Fun fact- I’ve learned that sometimes the people you care about and do the most for are the ones that will hurt you the hardest I’m not sure why that is. Forgive and forget though. If you can’t do that, as my Granny use to say, “Pray for them.” . Dear Lord, please let a flower pot fall in their stupid head” kidding! Refer back to number 4 on the list
17. My dream jobs are as follows being a profiler for the FBI, hosting a home interior show on HGTV, being a Broadway darling, or having my own organic skincare line.
18. I’m going to Salem Massachusetts and Portland Maine the last week of October. Excited to see New England in the fall. It looks so pretty. I’m particularly excited to see The House of Seven Gables, Longfellow’s digs, the art of Winslow Homer, Cape Elizabeth, and of course The Holy Doughnut. Okay, mostly the latter, but I’m sure the rest will be cool too. 😆
19. I love food, but my taste is sort of pedestrian. Yes, I eat people walking on the street .😜
20. I have every beauty and anti-aging gadget known to man. I’m not getting any younger so I really try and take care of my skin. I’m also afraid of needles and knives so doing noninvasive things at home is the route I’m taking. These little machines have made such a HUGE difference. I will use them for the rest of my life. I think I look pretty good to be turning 106. 😜
Bomus fact
I’ve loved to be a beauty blogger but I think I’m more suited to write on the adventures of being a dork. Ha!🤓
Music and a nod to a fact on my list. This song always cheers me up. 🍸
Soul Keepers
There are those people
who don’t need to look at you
to really see you.
They see you as you are.
Your lesser than moments
The sadness that is opulent
in you.
They’ll love you whether you’re
noteless or the feature story
written in the best of you,
whether your feet are sinking
in quicksand, or lost among dandelions
and slippery grass.
They’ll love your voice when it
deepens with life’s desire
or breaks with the frost of despair.
These are the ones who will
revive you when you’re barely alive.
When the sky loses it’s luster,
they’ll eat the clouds for you.
They’ll never be just a drifting
wind. or a splintering shadow,
a stray unimpressed with your
offering wandering off.
These people are your constants,
leaves that don’t flinch in the bitter air.
Forever entwined in your heart.
Immovable, no matter how much the branches
of your soul may shutter.
There are those people who
don’t need to look at you to
really see you.
They see you in the darkest
ravine or the midday sunlight of the pines.
These people are the backdrop
of your life, the stars who crown
you on your long walk home.
These are those you
sing the song of yourself too.
The ones who hear the potential
in every note.
And remind you of the words
when you forget how the
melody goes.
-Tosha Michelle
And silliness and no makeup ensued.
And this song goes out to my cat of course. 😜💕
Everything I Never Told You 
