My Port of Call

Published on by Tosha Michelle105 Comments

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Every time I’m in NYC
I start thinking I should
change my life.

Stop acting my digits.
Set fire to the rain with Adele.

Climb the Empire State
like Spiderman.

I’d be Vera Wang to the hilt
Stylish, polish, beautiful.

And then I think of where
I come from, my blood deep
roots of sweet tea and grits

Magnolia blossoms and
ancient oak trees stooped
over like sage crones

Of some warm song with
just a touch of twang coming
out of my Daddy’s guitar

I think of Southern charm
and those gloriously still
moments just before dawn,
when we rise with shine and
crow.

And I realize there’s a lot
to be said for flawed and small
for canned jam, for tangled forest
where blue birds lives and kudzu grows

And suddenly, I just want
to be me and who I am.
And who I am
can’t wait to be home again.

-Tosha Michelle

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Another Time, Perhaps

Published on by Tosha Michelle91 Comments

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I grasp for infinity
while trying to coax
the pins and needles
from my head.

I long to sleep
and wake up in a new land
where I can ease
into a less chaotic life,
slip into serenity
and under your sleeve.

No ill intent in my trespass
but I do have a plan.

We’ll take over the moon
and force the clock
to surrender.

We’ll live forever on
a daydream and pixie dust.

Dine each night on
wild berries and sunflower seeds.

You there in the leather jacket.
I’m not boastful.
I take no credit for our meal.

I just ask that you consider me
man of wasp and honey,
maze and train whistle.

Feel the softness
under your coat.

Take it off
and let me in.

-Tosha Michelle

Lisdont-know-whyKnow Why by Tosha Michelle 2020 #np on #SoundCloud

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Suffused

Published on by Tosha Michelle75 Comments

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I write my life in black
and blue.
I’m the girl suffused with
exclamation marks
and dramatic pauses.
My words infused
with dust.
The counter winds of my mind.
Years linger on the windowsill.
The past flows from the
same white cup.
Memories arrive like Jehovah’s Witnesses
on my front doorstep.
Fragments of my life
trying to convert me.
Pestering me to revert back.
Trying to lure me out with
promises of redemption.
I reattach myself
one line at a time.
Slipping from grey
into lavender.
Bound to advance
not retreat, I vow
to right my upside down heart
by the slip of pen
and the exorcism of yesterday.
I slice myself in threes
and write my riddle of release
over paper full of
missteps and scars.

-Tosha Michelle

Roses Are Red

Published on by Tosha Michelle65 Comments

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I have no time to think of you
so instead I’ll think of something else.
I know the color red. I’ll think of things that are red.
Roses? No, that’s too cliche. Apples? Too tempting.
Blood? That’s different. Yes, I’ll think of blood
and it’s healing properties or maybe I’ll contemplate
a life of crime but on second thought that’s a bit psychotic.
Perhaps, I’ll just watch TV to fill the void.
Endless reality shows. I’ll hang on to the Kardashians
drawn out whines or try to understand why
Blake is dating Gwen and not Adam. How comforting it all is.
If I wanted to write a poem on absurdity.

I remember the red rose bush in my Granny’s backyard.
How lovely it was even when the thorns pricked my thumb.
My mind back on red. It really is the most vibrant of colors.
Who doesn’t love a blood red sky? Rough love does, surely,
the dessert too. Not much green there, is there?
I think the moon finds its groove in that kind of terrain,
not impressed with leafy, easy things.
The air smells like steel tonight. I think I’ll hold on to it.
Breath it in. Exhale my thoughts. Funny how, all I think about
to not think about you turns into all I think about because of you.

-Tosha Michelle

Journals

Published on by Tosha Michelle67 Comments

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The craving for them is on par
with my desire for chocolate
and James Purefoy.
It’s almost carnal, this longing I have
for the blank pages.
How I love to let the want fester and grow.
My mind a compass of yearning.
This urge to fill them with erotic possibilities,
kissing the pages with ink and language.
I approach them like a hopeful lover.

I don’t need shoes or jewelry or a line of men out my door.
I just need you to direct me to the nearest bookstore or stationary shop.
I can never get enough. I’m impractical, wanton, greedy…

My house is a shrine cover to cupboard. Any day now I expect them
to get together and throw a meet and greet.
I don’t know how they cope with the burden
of my chaotic musings, my erratic penmanship, my half truths,
my outright lies, my heart’s telling secrets.
I love them for never being judgy of my judgement.
Always there to offset any loneliness.
They are the most patient of listeners. I scrawl my confessions out
and there’s always another lovely page ready to learn more.
I confess I might need an intervention, journal rehab.
Until then it’s just me and my sweet notebooks
of beginnings where preservation and obsession
never end.

-Tosha Michelle

Going Under

Published on by Tosha Michelle89 Comments

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The seasons change, we peel off our regrets
But still look for an opening in the air.
Love always leaves a residue, a stain.
The slate always slightly smudged.
Our hearts striations of clouds.
Memories come and go
with its fountain
of nostalgia flowing over
us without warning.
Blurring the landscape of
time until it unfolds back.
Dividing then from now.
Dividing soul from sanity,
until all that remains is an
oracle, an empty beach
dark waves of sorrow,
a tide long since receded and
an icy wind blowing in yearning
from yesterday’s yesteryears

-Tosha Michelle

The Day After

Published on by Tosha Michelle100 Comments

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He’s somewhere between a
brother and a lover.
But not my brother or lover.
He says my sighs say broken.
And because he’s near I’m
transformed somehow.
The words sound different
when they come out of
my mouth.
My form has changed, even
the evergreens take notice.
I bathe in the dappled light
between the trees.
He takes my hand and leads
me down an uncharted road,
where no one has thought of easy.
He says December is the perfect month
for skinny dipping in Minnesota.

-Tosha Michelle

Upon Reaching for the Sky

Published on by Tosha Michelle63 Comments

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Inside her pocket
she keeps letters
she’ll never send,
and long lists.

She sits at the vanity,
brushing serenity out
of her golden hair.

Listening to lost rain
that’s surly meant to fall
anywhere but here.

Somewhere already green
and lush.

Her mind grieving winter brown

It’s February.

If she mailed her letters
and shared her lists,
who would read them?

She asked for a cup
of tears
The liquid burns
her tongue.

She listens for the
soft cadence of his voice.

Her heart repeats its inquiry.

Memories and reality
undefined.

-Tosha Michelle

American Honey

Published on by Tosha Michelle68 Comments

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I miss childhood,
when I could climb trees,
unencumbered by branches.
The delicate days new born,
when hope came in dancing in
from the backyard and stayed
for Sunday dinner.
Endlessly long days that
always seem to fade into
sunsets and deliriously delectable
dreams of dandelions and
determined alliteration.
There, nights were made
of lightening and a well lit horizon-
the symphony neverending.

Now life has uprooted that sense
of joy, of ignition.
These days I’m just sound
slighted, the residue
of the morning mist,
burnt out on the melody.
Longing for backyard green,
the verve, the contentment.

-Tosha Michelle

Desire: written.

Published on by Tosha Michelle65 Comments

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When he speaks in my dreams
I am allowed to look at him

Somehow our clothes
are always off.

I let his perfect form
slide all over me.

His lyrical sound
is loud in my head.

How my mind wanders
and sparks.

The thoughts reaching out.

I try to still my hands,
but his skin is a tempting idea.

The open mouth kiss
of illicit toxins, sensual sin.

The more I try to latch on
the less real he feels.

The space between his face
and mine only grows longer.

I awake in my bed, the good girl,
still feeling the lingering wind
blowing in from the bad girl North.

How it likes to torment and tease
tameable me, untameable in dreams.

-Tosha Michelle