Category: Music

October Reflections

Published on by Tosha Michelle24 Comments


I’ve spent hours walking through the woods between bough and bramble..I feed on oaks in the netted forest. The sun hushed sky lighting my way. I make up rhymes straight from my chaotic head. Finding reflections in nature’s movement on a gentle October day. 

I ghost dance with a song of myself. Bridging the unbridgeable.  My body haunted by the hum of yesteryears and
things left undone. Wishing I got over things as easy as some. Yet,  I’m obligated to feel every missteps and my wrong opinions of my battered soul. Always the first to stick myself with pins,
even though I’ve been blessed with unconditional love and acceptance. I’m still afraid of never being enough, of feeling
alone, of being forgotten. Scared of not being able to discern
genuine affection from inauthentic affected entanglement.  Why am I still so naïve?  Why do I trust too much? 

As I walk back toward home. I remember
that my foundation is strong. That each
path I’ve traversed has led me where I’m
suppose to be. Somehow fuller from grief
and faults start. The frame of myself feeling each chilly breeze, each twig broken. Never quite able to lay down the
dregs of my soul. There are so many ways to go wrong. I refuse to count them
anymore. I’m tired of being anxious on my behalf. I will always have a melancholy heart, but my spirit is formidable. 

Home now with a cup of hot chocolate and the warmth of kindreds, I offer up a toast to sorrows felt, those I’ve lost who have long moved on, and to the realities of self. Here’s to the story of stories left to be told, to long walks and ink saturated nights. Lines that shutter and get redefine, do overs, and the allure of fresh pine. Cheers to a woman child with a pocket full of thorns, and shooting stars in her eyes, a life of contusions, and cherry picked pages, the girl who lives for the scent of honeysuckles and always finds the will to go on.

-Tosha Michelle

This song is so beautiful. My heart!

Sing 

Published on by Tosha Michelle20 Comments

Happy Sunday. Y’all, oh my gosh, “A Star is Born” is amazing. Lady Gaga gives a Judy Garland worthy performance. I could gush all day about it, but this isn’t a movie review blog. However, my cat’s been wanting to get into the WP game and he’s always considered himself a bit of a critic, so….  Although,  I think he’s better suited to be a food critic. 

Anyway, a poem for you. Oh and. Tucker says you really should see “A Star is Born” Honestly, he thought the film was going to be about his birth.  Silly boy 😜💕
Tell me why everything
is rarely enough in a
world that is collapsing.
The sky nothing more
than cornbread crumbs.

Why do we not
notice this?

Tell me how we got lost
in a word of logins, of likes,
of tweets, a web of passwords?
Tell me why people are disposable,
and we are constantly
judging our life
by the lives of others?

When I hear music,
my life shifts.
Layers of overstimulated
brain cells shed
their skin.

Dress me
in your melody.

Let your tune speak
of shattered knees,
barbwire fences
cutting into roads.
Sing me
your pain.

I’ll share my song
with you.

I’ll tell you in notes
both high and low
how I’ve suffered
and survived.
How peace is the
county I want
to live in,
but I sometimes get
stuck in customs instead.

How hard it hurts
to fall, to fall,
but each bruise,
each disappointment is
a testament that
our system is still
functioning and
there are melodies
still left to be sung.

I’ll sit beside you as
you serenade me
and I sing the notes
back to you
as we finally pay
attention to the
sky.

The evening opening
up like a meteor,
a tail of a comet
waves to us as it
touches the sidewalk.
Satellites fall. For the moment,
heaven comes closer,
entranced by our song.

-Tosha Michelle

The River 

Published on by Tosha Michelle37 Comments


So many things in life are temporal,
even friendship and love
Yet we never stop searching for
someone to hold onto when the
streets flood and our peace
becomes a distant shore.

We still love, love even when
we have no boat and are left
with one cracked paddle.
We remember times better
The days of umbrellas
and raincoats
Splashing in the mud.
The days before
the river overflowed
The backyard deep with
water and regret.
Sunken hope and sunflowers
crushed

We recall only the beauty
of an embrace,
the lovely cadence of 
heartfelt laughter.
We find a bittersweet solace
in the pain of two souls divided
Tossed in different directions.
We wonder why we were
chosen to live
this life and not another.
Why do foundations slide?
Why do rivers flood?

Then left with the morning after,
we know we must put our
questions aside, understanding
that enduring loss sometimes
is the only way to start over
We clean up, rebuild.
taking note of the
sunshine and bright skies
And if we’re lucky we finally 
find the warmth that’s meant
only for us.

-Tosha Michelle

If you liked to help children in SC and NC effected by Hurricane Florence, you can donate here:

HURRICANE FLORENCE CHILDREN’S RELIEF FUND

Just A Thought 

Published on by Tosha Michelle35 Comments

Due to the current political climate in America, I’ve watched myself become increasingly more angry and disillusioned. I was finally able to take a step back this weekend and realize how unhealthy that is. It’s so easy to let bitterness take over, not just with politics but in our personal life too. We always want someone to blame, but usually the fault doesn’t belong solely to one person.

Extremism whether in politics, religion, personal relationships, or social movements is dangerous. It creates this hostile environment where resentment breeds. It eats away at compassion and tolerance . There becomes this “us against them mentality”. There’s no room for shades of gray. People are either good or bad. Victim or villain. It’s ironic, given that we see ourselves as so progressive and forward thinking.

Extremism doesn’t provide clarity. It simply blurs lines, the line between civility and chaos, the line between sexual assault and harassment, the line between misogyny and chivalry, the line between what’s actually right and our need to be right. We must remember that rarely are people all good or all bad. We are all flawed, we all make mistakes. Imagine, if we could look beyond political and religious affiliations, beyond race and gender, and just see the humanity that resides in all of us.

I’m tired of defining myself as a Democratic liberal. I’m tried of seeing Republicans as the evil enemy. We as people are so much more than how we vote, or our gender, or who we pray or don’t pray too. I’m tried of labels and assertions based on emotions instead of facts. Yes, we have to fight injustice and follow our moral compass, but if we lose sight of our humanity in the process, than we’re no better than the injustices we are fighting.

End rant.

This blog will return to poetry on Wed.

She Used To Be Mine

Published on by Tosha Michelle33 Comments

I love this song so much. See below. It’s so very relatable. I feel it to my core every time I listen to it. We all have times in our lives where we lose ourselves and feel a disconnect from the person we use to be.I’ve been there. It’s incredibly painful. Life can be so unpredictable and hard. Thankfully, it can be really beautiful too.

 “She Used To Be Mine” is from the Broadway musical Waitress which was adapted from the 2007 film, that starred Keri Russell. Both the film and the musical are excellent. The Youtube is from the 2016 Tony Awards and it will bring tears to your eyes. It’s just that powerful of a performance. 

Lyrics

It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them

It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl

She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind

She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true

And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck

And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ‘til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine

She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

Songwriters: Sara Bareilles

She Used to Be Mine lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
In honor of the girl I used to be, I have brought back my bangs or fringe as the British say. It was time for a change. A new hair beginning. Ha!

Storybook Endings 

Published on by Tosha Michelle25 Comments

When I was a child
how I love to dress
my face in a book.
Entering worlds I’ve
never known.
I’d hide behind the cover.
discovering secret gardens,
children in boxcars, and
little women decked out
in petticoats.

On summer nights when
I could be coaxed out of
the books I loved.
My brother and I would
chase fireflies and play
Mother May I under
the backyard lights.

We were safe then under
the stars and constellations.
These were the years of
innocence and freedom

As a child you don’t notice
things like the moon losing
itself to the sky, or the cold
touch of the air.

As an adult you’re more apt
to notice the bee, the sting
the thorn, the horsewhip
Yet there’s still the beauty
of stories in a book and
nature’s sweet allure .

Sitting on a porch swing
the wind blowing hazily
Losing yourself in words
The call of distant shores,
The lure of courtships and
rosehip. In these times the
world brightens. The mind
alive with a gentle pitch
No need to rush or fuss
The sun refuses to faltered
Your soul becomes supernatural
Life’s frailties for a moment abated .

-Tosha Michelle


The ending of this video is perfection (as the music ends and the last chapter begins). 💕

She Carries On

Published on by Tosha Michelle45 Comments


She’s been taken down
by the moon.

Forgotten by the air.
The stars affixed to some
other someone had no time
to care

She’s felt her soul.
break, then drop.

There’s been pain
and muted mutters.

Her life madness-
after-hours spent
after wishing.

There’s a ditch
and then the digging out.
only to find some jerk
is burning brush at the top.

She’ll turn the seared ashes
into shimmer and lace.
with a smirk and a wink.
she tears the wolves apart.

Knowing there’s still time for
another dance, another daring kiss.

Life is all in the darkening.
The brightening.

Her eyes lit.
Her face flush.

She wraps herself
in flames and carries on.

-Tosha Michelle 

Lowlights, Mascara, Blockbusters, Myth makers, Heartbreakers. (And the Rest)

Published on by Tosha Michelle17 Comments
  • I’m really enjoying having lowlights in my hair and the fact that it is finally just about to my shoulders.  It’s the simple things, folks.
  • Interesting article below on blocking friends and family on social media after a fall out. Personally,  I’ve never blocked someone I’ve cared about and who has truly cared about me. It just always struck me as mean and disrespectful. I’m an adult and if I have an issue with you, I’ll simply say so, If I trusted you at one point with my love and friendship, I have to trust you’re mature enough to respect  my wishes when things end. Note,  I will block perverts and stalker types with no regret. I just think people who were important to us deserve better than to be treated like the aforementioned   Unless the relationship ended on a hateful note or harassment is involved. One thing for certain blocking sends a clear message that you want a person gone, never to be heard from again. It’s the ultimate Fudge you! 🤓lhttps://www.theodysseyonline.com/psychological-strain-behind-blocking-someone-on-social-media
  • I’ve gotten back into wearing eyeliner and mascara most days. I’m loving Nars Larger than Life Long wear Eyeliner and Charlotte Tilbury Full Fat Lashes.  
  • Remember these? A pop sensation for your mouth . Yes, I’m really 12. ha!
  • If you haven’t seen the HBO documentary on Senator John McCain, you should check it out. May he rest in peace. He seemed like a man who cared about America and not just his party. Imagine if bipartisan became the norm. What a strange and wonderful world it would be.
  • On another TV note is anyome watching Castle Rock on Hula? If so, who or what is “the kid” Two more episodes left of this season.  Such a mind twister  You really have to pay attention to follow everything that’s going on. 
  • I’m so happy it’s almost fall, lots of fun things in the works with my favorite people.  I can’t wait to break out the sweaters and hot chocolate.
  • I give you simply the best milkshake ever.  The Misto.
  • On a film note, I watched “Mother” last night. It came out last year and stars Jennifer Lawrence.  Biblical allegories played a huge role in the plot, but goodness was it violent and bizarre.
  • What’s a blog post without a picture of the rock star cat being fabulous
  • So me 
  • My birthday was yesterday and I got this card from my youngest daughter . She’s funny 
  • My favorite family to watch on YouTube. The kids are super adorable! https://youtu.be/mFUKjbUYCcI