I always want the things I can’t understand.
And I want understanding
from the things I can’t understand.
I turn them over in my mind like a Rubik’s Cube,
or an outdated reference.

This is regardless, of the things I have and do understand.

What’s the demarcation between settling and unrealistic expectations?

Why am I more interested in the mist than seeing the horizon?

What is it I think I’m missing: sex, romance, adventure, simplicity, humidity?

Blocked by what- responsiblility, obligations, discipline, weather?

I don’t want the mist to clear.
I play keep away with the sun.

The wheels on the bus
turn round and round but
I’m not waiting on a ride.
I’m going nowhere.

Maybe my mind just has a grudge against me.
Look at it always wanting something more,
in spite of….

-Tosha Michelle


86 thoughts on “Understanding

  1. Liked the poem very much and understand the feeling behind it. Couldn’t see/hear the song since it’s not available in Turkey. Might have to wait till I’m back in the US which would give me an excuse, though I really don’t need one, to read the poem again.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks. I happy about the house I bought there but will have to wait 30 days for my household things to arrive by ship from Turkey. And I have more things in storage in NY, too. It’ll take me a month or two to get settled but at least it’ll be spring and the weather will be fine.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m right there beside you on the bus. I do hope it gets moving soon, or perhaps we need to take the wheel, and go off course for a while. Preferably the beach. I love your brain Tosha. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You’ve got a Rubik’s cube in your head too? *whispers (I always cheat and just take the stickers off and put them back on in the right order)

    I feel ya, Poetess. Love and hugs and pencils. πŸ˜‰ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You are far saner than I! And a better writer. Don’t tell anyone that I said that! If you do I will boil your bunny until it’s flesh easily falls off! Enjoyyyyyyy!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. But no more deep will I endart mine eye – wow CJ, you are quoting Juliet! , must be this super-cool new avatar!! πŸ™‚ sorry Tosha, it just totally caught my nerdy eye πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. He’s full of surprises. He can go from Shakespeare to Goodfellas in a nanosecond. He also has this strange obsession with James Purefoy. It’s really off putting. πŸ˜‰ I agree the new avatar is fabulous. He looks very smart.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. My goodness do I “understand” this poem (no pun intended). I feel the same way — often, Tosha. You’ve described my mind in words and I thank you for that, for helping me to “understand” (truly!). So very nice.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I get you, I do! I also have this thing — when I’m here, I wanna be there; and when I’m there, I wanna be here. According to Buddhism that’s called being in hell, LOL.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. This poem spoke to me at a personal level, Tosha. I came back to read it because it was so true of how we love: In a nontransactional way, without conditions and expectations of anything in return.

    Liked by 1 person

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