Hello wonderful WP peeps and Chris. 😛 Last post until Friday when we’ll return to poetry. I graduate from grad school in little over a week. I’m so excited to be done. I have a research job lined up and look forward to applying what I’ve learned. It’s been an adventure but an arduous one
Since school is slowing down, I’ve had more time to be on WP. One thing I’ve noticed, a lot of people are struggling with various things. It’s kind of refreshing to see people being honest about their pain. You know so many times, people just want us to be blown away with how amazing their lives are (or appear to be) that it can be intimidating. You know what I mean, from so called Instagram models, to Hallmark moments, to couple practically making out for the camera. Umm, could you not? Ha!
I know for myself, I’ve had a rough couple of years. Some of my unhappiness was self inflicted, while the rest revolved around circumstances out of my control. I was in a negative place for a good while. I’m finally finding my way out of it. Note, being a Bitter Betty isn’t my usual MO. I’m known for being emotional, but in the past, I’ve always tried to put a positive spin on things. It’s super hard to be positive though when you keep tripping over fallen branches that surround you in all different directions, not to mention, stumbling over your own insecurities. I guess the solution is to remove the branches and get some self worth.
In the past, I had this annoying habit of making milk chocolate out of vinegar. My mom used to say, I was too trusting. She was right, I’d always been the type of person to see the good in everyone. These days I’m more realistic, but there’s still the tendency to trust too quickly. However, there’s a healthy dose of skepticism attached now too.
Anyway, wow, I use that word a lot. I’m trying to get back to being my perky, quirky self, but tempering that optimism with realistic expectations and hard earned truths. I’m realizing that sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together. Every experience in our life is leading us to where we’re suppose to be. I guess the key is not to fight it, but just accept that change is the one thing we can always count on. Also, don’t look for validation and happiness in other people. Find it within yourself.
Don’t chase people who don’t want to be caught either. You’ll just wear yourself out. You’ll be so much happier if you reserve your affection, time, and love for those who would willingly run towards you with open arms. Choose people who choose you! Forgive and forget those who don’t. It’s not about the chase, but about the the choice. The choice belongs to you. Choose to be happy. Choose to love yourself. Choose to be liberated from doubt and fear.
Sometimes we just have to exhale and let go of negativity. Sometimes we have to acknowledge that some things aren’t meant for us. Sometimes we have to be broken to finally break free.