Solvent for Gray Matter?


I’m always listening for some

distance call-from whom, or

what I can’t say. Maybe it’s

something that resides inside

me, a parasite of endless yearning

This restless, relentless

longing, trying to form a

melody. Rooted in loneliness,

trying to find the chords of

love. Perhaps, it’s grief, regret,

the futile quest for perfection.

The fear of my own mind and

heart. The knots of my emotions

tangled. All I can do is listen. I

try to decipher the notes.

The ego always tagging along.

Desperate for something I

can’t define. Sitting in the

stillness. I try to name a

tune that never quieten. I

hear it all day and in the

darkness. It goes on.

The insistent lyrical I,

the perplexed me.

and a song, I can’t begin

to learn.

-Tosha Michelle


20 thoughts on “Solvent for Gray Matter?

  1. “the futile quest for perfection”…..brilliant! I gave up that quest several years ago and embraced an “imperfect” yet much more authentic me….I felt like an imposter trying to be something I am not…PERFECT….

    I wish the youth today (most especially my own!) would understand that it is OK to be flawed in every way (physically, mentally, etc). It is part of what makes this journey so worthwhile…always accepting that we can evolve and change and don’t have to be bathed in perfectionism all the time…gosh, I wish I would have known this truth when I was younger šŸ™‚

    Again, such a great poem…you are such a pleasure to read !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your articulate comment. It is a lesson I wish I had learned back when, too. The years teach us or they should. I’m starting to think that’s not the case for everyone. Some people stay stagnant. grow is to live..our flaws and imperfections are great training tools. I used to hide behind the guise of perfection, too. People saw right through it of course. Nowadays, I try to embrace the imperfections. I still find myself caring way too much about what others think. That is still very much a work in progress.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Very nice, Tosha. The “insistent lyrical I” — just one of many lovely lyrical lines here. Hope you’re having a good Monday … and feeling so much better. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As always l look forward to Tosha’s writing…. However my love, I think in this case, it is the Virgo in you. Written so beautifully, with such clarity, and truth…. love it…

    Liked by 1 person

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