Month: July 2015

“Your Song”

Published on by Tosha Michelle17 Comments

I’d be honored if you would listen to my rendition of Elton John’s “Your Song” I recorded this with someone special mind. Perhaps, that someone was you.

Listen to “Your Song” by Tosha Michelle 2020 #np on #SoundCloud

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She always wanted more…more chocolates…more books…more shoes…more solitude..more anarchy.. more peace.. more calm…more chaos ..more sex…more time…. more love…more stability….more heaven…more hell….more poetry… more J’s…Jon Stewart…..Jimmy Fallon…jolly rancher’s…Josie..
.more Lana Del Ray….more BBC America… more…more… more ..more…more…until there was no more.. until all the more had been used up…ingested, consumed, spent, thrown away…and more became less…and less became so much more…

Tosha Michelle

Solo

Published on by Tosha Michelle35 Comments

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When my heart becomes
drained from voices
and sound, the anchor
of social interaction
crushing me into stone.
I go in search
of solitary exclusion

My ship sailing away
into the gray.
The night opens
for me.
My soul’s backbone
chilled by the wind.
fingerprints unseen.

I hide out under
a hard luck moon.
In those moments
I love no one.
I hate no one.
I’m indifferent

Lost in the stillness
The shadows follow me.
They write in pencil
taking notes in
a black journal
chronicling the sadness
that resides in me.

Something lingers
in the silence, a ghost,
an echo of compassion
creeping up and taking
possession of my bones

Eventually the stars
catch my eye
giving me a provocative
wink. Pointing their
celestial fingers at me.

Singing back
my lost lullaby.
reminding me the
universe can be
mysterious and grand.

Embracing me in humanity
Folding me back
into gold,
Melting the ice
from the marrow
of my bones.

Telling me to go home
that it’s late, but not
inside me, that I can
learn to dwell.
That the time has not
come to say goodbye,
only goodnight.

-Tosha Michelle

The Flood Came

Published on by Tosha Michelle6 Comments

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The mist whispers “come closer”
as the rain falls down,
The sound invading my heart
Sadness huddles in the leaves,
waiting to burst forth with the wind.
brushing my cheeks
finding purchase within my bones.
Bringing me to my knees
lost in a puddle of bruises
My red rimmed eyes
trying to breach the light
Darkness consumes me
Literally.
Figuratively.
The kind of darkness
I feel with every breath
filling my lungs and
slowly suffocating my soul.
There’s no reprieve from the darkness
only self inflicted torture
of a tear stained mind.

“Show me a hero, and I’ll write you a tragedy.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

Published on by Tosha Michelle5 Comments

F. Scott Fitzgerald ❤❦♪♫

My relationship with F. Scott Fitzgerald has evolved over the years, but he is still one of the great literary loves of my life. I discovered him at 11 years old when my aunt gave me a copy of The Great Gatsby.. I read it all in one go. After that,  I was hooked and quick to read anything Fitzgerald had ever written.  In middle school and high school, I was taken by the romance of it all. His books were magical; the parties, the glamour, those beautiful lyrical prose.  It was only after I was older and began reading about Fitzgerald’s life that I truly came to understand the depth of his work.  

Life for a while was a great shindig for Fitzgerald.  He married the love if his life, the belle of the ball, his first book This Side of Paradise was a huge success, but so much can change in a decade. Success is fleeting, the belle would stray, be forgiven, go mad and end up in an asylum. Fitzgerald would lose himself in gin and insecurities.  He would die of a heart attack at the young age of 44 at a time when he was just finding his creative voice again.

Fitzgerald is not unlike you or me. He was man who understood grey, the fading of the seasons, the sting and zing of a lived life.  I hope he is at peace, his final chapter written much too soon.  When I am in a particular melancholy mood, I read Fitzgerald’s work and let his words guide me, Knowing that the man behind the text understood life’s nuances, that dreams are often lost in the dirty laundry, that the heart is constantly bending itself and being reshaped, that often failure is just a deceptive voice, that we have to move with the taste of change and finally, that everything has a conclusion. Or does it? Fitzgerald’s words will last long after our cars are replaced with hearses, his ancient ledger of living verbs, nouns, and adjectives, a future pearl for a new generation.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m feeling a bit blue today. Gatsby is calling, like a hidden note, I wonder what his pages will reveal today.

“It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

F. Scott Fitzgerald ❤❦♪♫

F. Scott Fitgerald ❤❦♪♫

❤❦♪♫

Papa

Published on by Tosha Michelle13 Comments

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At eight years old.
I hold my Granny’s hand
The one that use to hold
my Papa’s hand
The one she
held for 32 years
The one she won’t
hold again.
I wonder how much
different mine must feel

We stand in a darkened room
Sharp with the taste
of ash and loss,
full of family and flowers
Tissues to cheek,
eyes red.
Grief pouring out,
like the holy spirit
at a Pentecostal revival

My Papa in his coffin.
dead. I struggle to
understand.
The adults talk of
angels wings, gossamer,
and light
Remarking how peaceful
he looks.
Granny lays her head
on mine and weeps

I place a rose
in Papa’s cold hand,
and kiss his cheek
Hoping he will
answer me
“Papa, I love you.
I’ll take care
of Granny
and hold her hand,
until she sees you again. “

In those few fragment moments
where consciousness
and grief collide.
I understand loss’ lexicon
That is comes off
like synthetic fabric
fused to a body
in a fire
taking skin with it

-Tosha Michelle

It’s All About The Fit

Published on by Tosha Michelle4 Comments

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“And now a she-wolf came, that in her leanness / seemed racked with every kind of greediness / (how many people she has brought to grief!)” (Dante’s Inferno I 49-51).

Poet’s note- I’ve always preferred Roman mythology and the of story of Romulus.

“Double Breasted Seduction”

I like to loiter under the covers on nippy winter mornings and watch you get dressed
You look best in tailored suits. Stylish and sleek.
My crisp man with your neatly pressed long sleeve shirt
You’re putting on my favorite (periwinkle with a hint of purple flecks)
The sun winks its approval through the blinds.
The tree branches gossip with the sky, swaying to your beauty.
I feel every bit like the wolf Dante wrote about,
as I watch you slide into each sleeve
Popping each button, your eyes fixed on me.
I beckon you over, my knees on the bed.
Is your belt unbuckled?
My hands moves things along
tucking the hem of your shirt into your pants
slowly and playfully smoothing always the creases
enjoying the feel of you and the brush of luxury your clothes provide.
Pampering you, I tie your tie (Double Windsor knot)
Wishing I could tie up all your loose ends.
When you walk away to get your keys and wallet
I can’t help noticed how your trousers
caress your rear, hips, and thighs
Such a seductive covering, carnal captivation
You kiss me goodbye. Your fingers lighting fisting my hair.
Breathing my name in a sultry abbreviation.
Whispering sexy sentiments into my ear
All I can think of is tonight, I get to undo my crisp man
I can’t wait to uncover your double breasted seduction,
and dress you up in me.

-Tosha Michelle

On Words and Self Doubt

Published on by Tosha Michelle8 Comments

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My poetry always exposes
the imperfect fit of my skin,
with words that run off
with the seeds of pretext.
I’m left behind chasing
an existential crisis,
no fairy tales to quell
my anxieties

Choking on a parched narrative
thinking too much.
about thinking
Too much “who?” too much me
not enough “what can I do?”

My shoes moist
and full of warm blood
I take them off-revealing my blisters
Exhausted, I sit down
and breathe in despair’s air.
watching the newspaper,
and leaves long dead, fly by me.

The turmoil traffic,
thumb to nose, mocking me,
the dark taunting me
with Medusa’s stare.
Some fool shinning a light
(as if that could make a difference)

I sharpen my lyrical claws,
fist fighting my wit,
cursing stupid cliches
telling banality to f*** off.
Wondering if that’s
how written language will end.
with a “bee in your bonnet”
and impotent pen

Waiting…waiting…waiting

for words and their Judas betrayal
to find me,
so we can release our flaws,
like a dying hooker’s last confessional,

Perhaps, this time- words
and I will join in semantic fusion,
an authentic coupling, anointed
with a whispered touch,
fertile in rhythm and verse
stirring to stir..stirred to stir.

Birthing the poetic molecular structure.
the genetic code of the spirit
Wearing multiple faces, places,
memories, hearts, and loves.
Dressed with an imagination affluent in grief

Maybe this time our monologue of loneliness and self doubt will make the soul’s late late show.

-Tosha Michelle

Be careful lest the wind calls your name

Published on by Tosha Michelle4 Comments

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Dedicated to Sin, Confess, Repeat, The Sometime Poet, Lana Del Rey, the letter J., Timothy Olyphant, guys named Tad, and the girls named Biffy that love them. Oh and my greatest muse, mischief.

Be careful lest the wind calls your name
whistling to you with his seductive tune
He’ll beckon you to come dance in the leaves
Blowing in your ear, caressing your hair and face
Tempting you with the thoughts of his sensuous touch

Be careful lest the wind calls your name
He’ll entice you with his vigor
Sweep you away with his power
His presence so commanding
even the trees sway to his desire.

Be careful lest the wind calls your name
He’s fickle and cunning.
Quick to come and go
impossible to hold on to.
Yet he ask to be notice
Begs to be heard.

Be careful lest the wind calls your name
He’ll be calm and playful one minute
tumultuous and volatile the next.
He’ll scorch you with his heat
chill you with his frigidity.

Be careful lest the wind calls your name
Keep your wits about you
Board up your wanderlust heart
Let him move you if you must
but don’t get carried away

Be careful lest the wind calls your name
Remember-you’ll never know his truth intent
or which way he’ll blow next.

-Tosha Michelle

Playing Peek-A-Boo

Published on by Tosha Michelle5 Comments

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Apathy married to assumptions
birthing prejudices-
mindless minions
breast feed on lies

Pay no mind to the stepchildren
the sex slaves
the homeless
the abused and downtrodden

The talking heads are too busy parenting discord
in a nation that loves to light torches
and cast blame on each other.

It’s easier to listen to counterfeit prophets-
Polluted pundits with their false reason
than form educated and independent thoughts
It’s easier to drink the kool-aid of complacency
than taste humanity’s pain

Salient questions
Original ideas
Be damned

There’s no time to nurture the truth
in an attention deficit society
fueled by a Ritalin dispensing media