I was always clingy
with my boyfriends.
I never really knew
my biological father.
He left when I was
two.
I never got a bad grade.
I did the right thing, but
not evey time.
I never told my mother
about that time I snuck
out to meet my first
love.
The fault that is never
mine, but always is
mine.
The feeling I get when
I get something right.
The despair I get when
I don’t.
I’m not okay with being
alone, but I crave
isolation.
There is an exact ratio
of sugar and tea in
every glass I drink.
I hold onto books,
even the ones I don’t
read anymore.
I’m always nervous
in new situations. I
worry about being
liked.
I get excited over
vintage anything,
but mostly dresses
that sway on my
form.
I like how his eyes
stay on my form
wherever I wear one.
I spent $123 dollars
today at the Antique
Mart. I bought a lovely
Mod Print Dress and
a sequins party dress.
I don’t like parties.
or sequins.
The number of time
I obsess over anything,
over nothing.
The way I hoard my
relationship and worry
he will leave me.
I purposely call him
just to make sure he
is home.
How much I hate
doing this.
How much I
hate doing this.
-Tosha Michelle