Sage Wisdom (cough. cough) by Yours Truly

1. On the days you can’t seem to please anyone, please yourself.

2. Everyone has baggage. It’s just that some of ours comes in a carry on while others comes in a tank of a suitcase.

3. You can never change a man so don’t even try. Love him as he is and save your energy for more important endeavors: like eating Godiva, shopping, and hiding his body.

4. Justice may be for all, but seldom is.

5. Childbirth is a walk in the park compared to child rearing.

6. Less fear. More action.

7. Music can soothe the soul unless it is hip hop; then I just want to brain someone.

8. When in Hot Topic, be sure to distinguish between the door and glass window before charging toward what you think is the exit. Trust me, your head will thank you. Also, take along a friend and children who will actaully stop you from the aforementioned instead of laughing at you like you are the funniest thing since Bridesmaids, the movie. OK, never mind that film was terrible, but you get the point.

9. Unsolicited advice is rarely appreciated unless the person you are giving it to is hammered at the time.

10. Wearing freakishly high heels to a standing room only concert is never a good idea; just ask my feet.

11.. Kindness is more important than having the last word unless, you are dealing with a jerk; then go ahead get in the last dig:)

12. Money does not buy happiness, but it can buy a boatload of chocolate.

13. Love, not time, heals all wounds.

14. Bitterness and resentment will destroy your soul. Let it go!

15. I can’t help how I feel, but I can help how I act on my feelings.

16. Accept and value yourself. This will bring you happiness. Embrace the good and the bad. I think we will always care what others think of us. But the key it to stop worrying about it and live our lives on our terms. Love the ones who matter. Leave out the rest.

17. It’s not what you say, it is what you do. So carry a big stick. I know Huh???

18. No matter how much you care, some people are just A-holes.

19. If you are a celebrity, sadly, you can get away with pretty much anything.

20. Southern girls do it better. Note, I am not sure what “it” is, but trust me, we do it better!

21. Sweet tea goes with anything.

22. Cats only want attention when you are sleeping, reading, writing a paper, or doing chores.

23. By the way, my cat is a rock star.

24. Reading is fundamental, but math will get you the high paying jobs.

25. There is beauty in imperfection.

26. Growth only comes through change; or eating tons of chocolate.

27. Everyday you should reach out and touch someone, just be prepared to be slapped.

28. It is more important to be lovable than loved.

29. In order to get along with your obnoxious, elitist, know it all of an neighbor, pretend they’re someone else’s.

30. Robert Frost was right, “Life goes on.”


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