Lesson Learned 

Published on by Tosha Michelle


Hello wonderful WP peeps and Chris. 😛 Last post until Friday when we’ll return to poetry. I graduate from grad school in little over a week.  I’m so excited to be done. I have a research job lined up and look forward to applying what I’ve learned. It’s been an adventure but an arduous one

Since school is slowing down, I’ve had more time to be on WP. One thing I’ve noticed, a lot of people are struggling with various things. It’s kind of refreshing to see people being honest about their pain. You know so many times, people just want us to be blown away with how amazing their lives are (or appear to be) that it can be intimidating. You know what I mean, from so called Instagram models, to Hallmark moments, to couple practically making out for the camera. Umm, could you not?  Ha!

I know for myself, I’ve had a rough couple of years. Some of my unhappiness was self inflicted, while the rest revolved around circumstances out of my control. I was in a negative place for a good while. I’m finally finding my way out of it. Note, being a Bitter Betty isn’t my usual MO. I’m known for being emotional, but in the past, I’ve always tried to put a positive spin on things.  It’s super hard to be positive though when you keep tripping over fallen branches that surround you in all different directions, not to mention, stumbling over your own insecurities. I guess the solution is to remove the branches and get some self worth. 

In the past, I had this annoying habit of making milk chocolate out of vinegar. My mom used to say, I was too trusting. She was right, I’d always been the type of person to see the good in everyone. These days  I’m more realistic, but there’s still the tendency to trust too quickly. However, there’s a healthy dose of skepticism attached now too.

Anyway, wow, I use that word a lot. I’m trying to get back to being my perky, quirky self, but tempering that optimism with realistic expectations and hard earned truths. I’m realizing that sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together. Every experience in our life is leading us to where we’re suppose to be. I guess the key is not to fight it, but just accept that change is the one thing we can always count on. Also, don’t look for validation and happiness in other people. Find it within yourself. 

Don’t chase people who don’t want to be caught either. You’ll just wear yourself out. You’ll be so much happier if you reserve your affection, time, and love for those who would willingly run towards you with open arms. Choose people who choose you!  Forgive and forget those who don’t. It’s not about the chase, but about  the the choice. The choice belongs to you. Choose to be happy. Choose to love yourself.  Choose to be liberated from doubt and fear.

Sometimes we just have to exhale and let go of negativity.  Sometimes we have to acknowledge that some things aren’t meant for us. Sometimes we have to be broken to finally break free.

Cue music. 

47 thoughts on “Lesson Learned ”

  1. There are so many things I want to say, but my comment would be as long as the post. I will hit on a few. Yes, people tend to portray perfect lives in social media; I try to avoid airing the dirty laundry. At this moment, my life is total chaos.
    Great advice about chasing people. Life is too short to waste our efforts on the undeserved. Let go of the negativity is the only way. Congrats on the upcoming graduations. Wish you all the best.

    BTW I am not very fond of vinegar chocolate.

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  4. Lots of wise words here Tosha and I love your honesty. All the best with your upcoming graduations and life in general. Keep smiling lovely lady, life is never perfect but you have a great attitude. xx

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  6. The whole of life it’s a process of self discovery, through good, and so named bad lessons, from which most actually we benefit in wisdom.
    Keep going! 🙂

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  7. Congrats on almost being finished grad school! A great accomplishment! I agree, seeing that other people suffer too, we can see that we are all in the same boat no matter our life experiences. Again great song choice! ❤️ Carry Underwood! I also thought of a song by Rascal Flatts while reading your post and the chorus line: “And God Bless the Broken Road that led me straight to you.” It reminds me too that broken roads lead to better things ahead 🙂

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  10. So lovely that you opened up about your journey and I am sure so many of us relate. In time we are able to see ourselves more clearly, where we came from, how we reacted both to things we could and could not control. Its such a big undertaking but it sounds like you are really finding direction Thanks for being one of the positive voices and contgrats on achieving your goal soon. That is massive. ❤

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    1. Thank you. I’m certainly trying. If it was just one thing it would be easier to deal with it’s a few different things. One I actually thought was settled but who knows anymore. All I do know is I can’t control my circumstances but I can control how I react to them. 💕

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  11. Hi Tosha, great that you are about to finish up with studies. It seems talented people like you, with so many things going for them are prone to self doubt, and hard times (can’t say I’m any better here!) Glad you seem to be getting the morbs under control. Just spent an excellent half hour listening to old 60’s early 70’s rock, which came up with the Underwood song. Well all the best of luck, and blessings, Charles.

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  12. Congrats to you on finishing your course and on your new job. I always enjoy reading your posts. You are a wonderful read. I am aware that you have a weak side, but everyone does. I hope that you continue writing and encouraging people. You are a shining light to many not just because you are a gorgeous lady but because you have inspiring things to say.

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  15. Congrats Tosha on finishing your graduation and for a new job, I am always reading your blog that is more creative and inspirational.

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