Issues

Published on by Tosha Michelle

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I was always clingy
with my boyfriends.

I never really knew
my biological father.
He left when I was
two.

I never got a bad grade.
I did the right thing, but
not evey time.

I never told my mother
about that time I snuck
out to meet my first
love.

The fault that is never
mine, but always is
mine.

The feeling I get when
I get something right.
The despair I get when
I don’t.

I’m not okay with being
alone, but I crave
isolation.

There is an exact ratio
of sugar and tea in
every glass I drink.

I hold onto books,
even the ones I don’t
read anymore.

I’m always nervous
in new situations. I
worry about being
liked.

I get excited over
vintage anything,
but mostly dresses
that sway on my
form.

I like how his eyes
stay on my form
wherever I wear one.

I spent $123 dollars
today at the Antique
Mart. I bought a lovely
Mod Print Dress and
a sequins party dress.

I don’t like parties.
or sequins.

The number of time
I obsess over anything,
over nothing.

The way I hoard my
relationship and worry
he will leave me.

I purposely call him
just to make sure he
is home.

How much I hate
doing this.

How much I
hate doing this.

-Tosha Michelle

72 thoughts on “Issues”

  5. Aspects of life’s journey that most won’t say aloud, yet carry like a burden. You say it with such emotion and grace. Beautiful.

    Ellie xo
    (Elena M)

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  9. This is a really good psychological study of a woman wanting, Tosha — I like it a lot! And the repetition of those last lines is just great because it shows how much the woman is still clinging to the man — nice touch.

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  18. You don’t need my praise, but nonetheless your poetry is overflowing praiseworthy 🙂 I will order your book of poems and store it in my bookshelf, together with the other great souls like Pablo Neruda and Rilke.

    May you be blessed without end,
    Mark

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  25. Actually this could be me, though I new my father, but he was often away doing work overseas, or in another town. For the rest this could be me, I often go into the garden to be on my own, one often needs the space to think and compose, but i love having people around to talk to, especially my wife Genevieve. Very honest poem, and hope you can find happiness, and a wonderful person to love, best wishes and blessings, Charles. 🙂

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  29. This is radiantly, defiantly, neurotically human. I completely related to the paradoxes within. I have a mountain of unread books, which I keep as an life insurance policy because I’m not dying until I read them all. (Hint: keep buying books and you’ll never die.) – Moskowitz

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  30. I swear to God, you and I not only share similar thoughts and words, crave being alone, yet still believe that complimentary person will show up one day, never knew our fathers, but still grew up alright… we also have the same wp theme for our blog. I mean really. How fucking awesome are we?

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