Who Am I?

 

I’m the woman who believes in thorns,
the beauty of fallen fruit,
and lavishing love on the lovable
and unlovable.

I’m generous, difficult, and incomplete.
I have spells of sullen iciness,
and moments of hot tea and clarity.

I’m the woman who can only be
of this world for moments at a time.
My soul affixed to solitude
and one darkness after another.

When the lights finally come back on,
I confess I like a warm arm around my waist
and a strong shoulder to rest my chaotic head.

I’m also partial to masculine fingers
that know how to coax my color back,
under silk sheets, with creative words,
and hands of purpose.

I’m often confused. Do I succumb
to the screeching crow
or pay homage to the nightingale?

I’m the woman who would go
anywhere to leave you,
but will beg you to come with me.
When we get there, I’ll fight with you
over the map and then kiss you
on the street.

I’m an expert at backbends.
I practice them every night
under memory’s disco light.

I hide an extra heart under my bed
in a packed suitcase of longing.

I’m the woman waiting for good enough
to be enough. Still, always wanting
more of much. Knowing life, like art,
is what we make it.

We all deserve something more than nothing.
I’m insignificant, and at times narcissistic.

I’m the broken woman.
cracked, bent. Damaged.

I’m the woman becoming whole,
becoming more me with each new break.

-Tosha Michelle

My cover of “Night Changes”

Listen to Night Changes by Tosha Michelle 2020 #np on #SoundCloud

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129 thoughts on “Who Am I?

  1. Beautiful. I like the way you place in the words, a place in my imagination. Like I am there, perhaps the map, looking back into your eyes. Onwards through the fog like a breeze in the journey, kissing the falling fruit, slowly. In life we want to lay on a bed of roses laid on silky smooth sheets. All knowing the thorns will grasp both silk and flesh keeping movements in place. When life gives us both pleasure and pain we feel the balance of being alive. Thanks for the journey. It reminds me that I always keep my promise. And thinking that I may not get it right the first time. Because enough is enough when it becomes perfect. Like your poem, of a loving person becoming human.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I most certainly do not!
        You ain’t no mortal, chile!
        I may have to pop back to Mongo for a recharge.
        You should pop for a visit!
        It’s lovely at this time of the lunar movement.
        The several satellites that orbit bounce golden light to one another.
        Quite spectacular to behold.πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re a dream Tosha! I don’t believe I’ve ever met one quite like you ❀ And you sing lovely lullabies too – amazing! We were discussing star signs in the office at work today, the women became quite animated googling up info, I'm all for it, but the other guy was bemused by it all, funny how people are! I wonder what star sign you are? πŸ˜‰ Great post as always, leaves me wanting more!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I am a little sadden by this post. It is very likely I may have read one of the best pieces of writing in the blog world, so everything else is downhill from here. “I’m the woman who would go anywhere to leave you, but will beg you to come with me.” I read this three times. Don’t know what inspired you for this piece, but I bow to YOUR muse. Amazing. Oh, and by the way, nice model in the pic.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Loved the poem, and what a voice you have. I could copy and write that for all your posts haha. What an opening stanza. It started awesome and didn’t stop. Let me know when you start taking requests for songs πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I have no idea how difficult each is to sing or what kind of stuff you most like to, so I’ll give you a list of songs I’m extremely fond of. Whichever ones stand out most to you.

        Roxy Music – Jealous Guy
        The Eagles – Lyin’ Eyes
        David Bowie – Heroes
        Duran Duran – Ordinary World
        Fleetwood Mac – Sara
        The Killers – When you were Young
        The Kinks – Waterloo Sunset
        Alanis Morisette – Head over Feet
        Bruce Springsteen – Secret Garden
        Smashing Pumpkins – Perfect

        Liked by 1 person

  5. So that’s where you have your extra heart hidden! I knew you must have more than one. πŸ˜‰
    Every one of your poems contain lines that absolutely knock me out. There are so many in this one, but I’ll pick “under memory’s disco light.” Imagery!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. There is a beautiful sense of plenitude despite the sense of confusion that is conveyed through the words. One can feel that this is a result of soul-searching (whether your own or that of someone else is not so clear-cut in this piece) and a final acceptance with a lot of grace and love of the resulting human being that emerges from all the confusion, heartache and longing.
    Your voice of course is lovely and I discovered the song through you.
    The poem also made me think of a song I like and that I am sharing with you although it is in French. Another write on this blog had made me remember this song too.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Bits of you scattered around?
        Or just bits yet to be found?
        Are you sure they’re not there?
        Perhaps you just can’t hear their sound?
        Wherever they are, you’re a poet,
        They’ll always be to you magnetically bound.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Her poems are what can i say great no grand no they are above that they are cream of the crop with the best poets in history i would tell anybody she ranks in top,10 in,history to,get a guy who didnt care for it to read it and like it all because she is talanted if she wasnt i wouldnt read but she is and shr said i was creative coming from queen of poems that touch me

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dale

    This was the first of your poems I’ve read, been hooked ever since.
    Hopefully you’ve forgotten my obnoxious little story/ comment. πŸ™‚
    I β™‘ it even more now.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I held off yesterday but I think by a certain age we all are somewhat damaged, some more than others. I would stay with someone for all the wrong reasons as long as I had one with hopes of it being enough to live with, tolerate or hopefully change or I would. Things do unfortunately happen for a reason and I know you are a bit of a runner from many of your works and sometimes you have to and sometimes you need to stop and recharge:)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Interview With Tosha Michelle – Mandibelle16

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