Tabula rasa

Published on by Tosha Michelle

image

I always notice the dreamlike quality of
clouds, their soft layers of hazy beauty.

I often see daisies in dry bones.

I dance with skeletons, ignoring the witch’s
brew.

I stick my hand in the boiling
cauldron and call it comfort.

I pay no attention to the clock’s
incessant noise.

I’ve repeated your name so many times
it sounds like an incantation.

When do I stop hoping?

When does your name mean
nothing?

Do you remember dictionary?

I pile on the words trying to
reach your table.

For one moment, I grasp the surface
just as my chair folds but refuses
to collapse.

I pick up syntax from the ground.
Your form takes shape on the paper
only as you are walking away.

-Tosha Michelle

69 thoughts on “Tabula rasa”

  1. I ♡ those clouds. As l must love the gamble too. A longing to be that person again, of no one else in the world I rather be.
    The dream wakes me, to smile at such a sally. Of ever?
    you’re up awful early….

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  13. It’s funny how you write. Not meaning you’re funny but the answer the truth is out there. A lot of what you say I feel and understand. The metaphors are enough to know the hurt that went on, that you still feel and they point at your favorite spot with someone. I write some truth, half truth, all truth and nothing is truth but memories. Those linger even when you’ve fully moved on and have a dream out of left field.

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      1. I know I read it and visualize it. I do the same thing, my ex tried to kill me twice and I shocked the hell out of her by not leaving. You can find a 100 ways to say the same thing. I like mixing it up too. I do it verbally, visually, musically and sometimes the exact opposite. Pain is still pain. That reminded me I had to post.:) Tricking your mind is fun when you enjoy it.

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      3. Yea that is only the recap. IDK I have a big heart. If I am mad but someone is having a bad day I leave things alone. I did write a real post about her. She put 20000 mg of narcotic pain killers and sleep agents. She also cut my brakes and had someone go after my alternator to make it go in flames. The car stalled and I got out on the parkway and mid day and clear someone smashed into it and it exploded. The meds I forced gag reflux and then worked out real hard to sweat it out and get my adrenaling up. My hr goes over 200 and I was 20 and dizzy when I realized and I sat there looking at her and her jaw dropped. The same with the car. She had me heavily insured. We did separate 2 months later. I am sure you got the double and triple meaning in the post I just wrote.:)

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      5. I wanted it to be subtle yet cryptic at the same time. As far as her, she ended up exactly as I told her. I helped her career got her a head hunter and her career took off. She wanted a millionaire and the type to leave their wife for her. She dated 4 in 2 years, got pregnant 3 times, miscarried twice and the last left her with the kid. She actually called cops on me after coming home drunk as hell and started throwing crap and the second time a female cop went from treating me like a suspect to a victim and gave me her number. Doing that in front of her was priceless.

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      7. I have thought about it and I certainly write enough and have enough material. It is interesting. If I did that, mind you she watches it all the time, she would like it and not realize it was about her:) I have enough of my own material to publish on a few subjects. I am glad I am not with her either.

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    1. Thank you, lovely. The lead singer of Years and Years is gay so I think he was talking about his relationship. I’ll have to go back and watch. In truth, I usually get lost in the music and lyrics, forgetting to pay attention to the actual video.

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