Ten Things Women Wished Men Knew. (from the Dear Men files)

I tend to be either deeply philosophical or deeply silly. I’ll let you decide where my mood falls tonight.

Dear Men,

I know you live for my letters. The tips that just keep on giving. In that vein, I present my latest top ten list. Take notes.

1. We women like to be taken but not in a way that requires our fathers to bring out their particular set of skills. You know the ones they have acquired over their long career. No, we want be taken up against the wall, on the kitchen counter, on your desk, etc. We love to feel wanted and desirable.

2. Pet names can be very sweet. However, don’t make them too cutesy. There’s nothing sexy about being called Kissy Kibbles, Schnookums or Licky Sticky Poo.

3. It is never appropriate to call us a bit** or by your ex-girlfriend’s name.

4.You don’t fake foreplay. We won’t fake an orgasm.

5. Ladies first. See number 4.

6. There’s something extremely sexy about a man who can recite Shakespeare while listening to Bach as he fixes a leaky pipe.

7. Be romantic. Note, sometimes being romantic simply means doing the laundry.

8. Listen to us, dam*it

9. You’re adorable when you are shaving, driving, being kind to your mother, holding a baby. etc.

10. Love us. Respect us. Protect us. Do us.




There is power in gratitude..It can transform and change lives. It can turn a defeatist attitude into a “Yes, I can” It can turn chaos into peace, an enemy into a friend, heartache into joy, an ordinary day into something extraordinary.

I’m grateful, today, for the love of family and friends, the soulfulness of music, the beauty of nature, and the solace that books can bring..

May gratitude live in your hearts; peace and love abound. May your turkeys and bellies be stuffed, the wine and love ever flowing.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Be Thankful

“Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,

If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something

For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.

During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations

Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge

Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes

They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary

Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are

also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles

and they can become your blessings.”

~ Author Unknown

Adultery: A novel by Paulo Coelho

Adultery is not a new theme in literature. It’s been featured in the great works of authors like Tolstoy, Fitzgerald, and Goethe to name a few. It is also been the topic of more than a few films and songs. Now contemporary Brazilian author Paulo Coelho gives us his take on the subject in his new work of fiction, adeptly titled Adultery. However, to simply say this is a story of adultery is to miss the deeper nuances of the book but more on that later.

The novel revolves around Linda, a successful Swiss journalist married to a prominent business man who loves her deeply. They seemly have an idealistic life, a happy home and children. Linda is depressed, however, and unsatisfied with her circumstances. Her life has become routine and boring. An interview leads to an affair with an old high school sweetheart. The liaison causes her to reexamine her life as she discovers the passion that had been missing, leaving her with a life altering choice to make.

Adultery is a book about sin, betrayal, self discovery and worth. It’s about reinventing one’s self but at what cost? Voyeuristic in nature, we watch Linda’s downward spiral as she wrestles with depression, monotony, and, later on, appetites that threaten to destroy everything she has. Linda is at times narcissistic and an unsympathetic character, but at other times, she is very relatable. Who among us hasn’t examined our lives at some point and found it lacking? Who hasn’t felt the need for something more; something that defines our lives and gives it worth?

The writing is flawless, the prose tight. Coelho weaves biblical references, Greek mythology and religious history into the tale in a masterful way. He will make you think about your own life, how you cope with the mundane, and how we find meaning in a world that is often banal and hard to understand. Ultimately, Coelho seems to be saying our fate is in our hands, we can choose to constructively change our lives for the better or self implode.

Adultery by Paulo Coelho

Suki, Lattes, Chaos, and Gratitude


I’ve learned that expectations can often lead to heartache. Assumptions can lead to misunderstandings. I try to adhere to the following rules.(not sure “rules” is the right word ) Live what you speak. Hope without reason. Love without conditions. Give without expectations. Dream without limitation, but never deluded yourself.  Be, and let be.  Of course, maybe, I am full of sh**. Kicking boxing, hiking, and darting throwing, can’t hurt either.


I know. Why you gotta be so rude? My mom hates this picture.

OK. Thanksgiving is coming up. I thought I would blog about a few things I am grateful for. Of course, giving it my weird spin. It goes without saying, that I am thankful for my family and friends. Their love and support is everything. I am also grateful for the beauty of nature, the soulfulness of music and the escapism of books.

Now, for my unconventional list of gratitude

I’m thankful I grew up in a time where reading was valued, reality wasn’t scripted, and social networking happened on a playground, a time before sexing, the Kardashians, Kesha, skinny jeans,and so called “real” housewives


I’m grateful that Pumpkins Spice Latte season is over. (UGH)


In the same vein, I am stoked, it is the season of Peppermint Mocha Lattes (yummy)


I’m thankful my celebrity crush, Timothy Olyphant was born. (hubba, freakin, hubba)


I’m so grateful, I am petite.  I lie. In my next life, I plan on having legs that won’t quit instead of a mouth.


I’m thankful my mom didn’t name me Suki. Yes, it was a contender. Seriously, WTH? We are of Irish and Scottish descent. Southern, etc. Suki. really?. Tosha is bad enough.  However….


Finally, I’m thankful for my current jam. Banks get me. 🙂

Dancing with Words.


Three of my favorite poems. Yes, I am a romantic.

“since feeling is first,” e.e. cummings

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don’t cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids’ flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life’s not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

“If You Forget Me,” Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

When You Are Old

By William Butler Yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Mark Kingwell, Silliness, the Podcast to Be and A Top Twenty List.

On Jan 12th La Literati welcomes Canadian philosopher Mark Kingwell to the show. My co-host and I have the utmost respect for Mark and are giddy about the booking. OK, giddy might be too strong of a word, but we are happy. Niles and I have a running gag going about being stood up for the podcast. We’re really wondering why he said yes. What can I tell you, underneath the guise of adulthood lurks two insecure sixteen year old girls begging to come out. Niles says “speak for yourself.” At any rate, I thought it would be funny to come up with a list of excuses Mark might give for being a no show. I’m also trying to promote the podcast in a semi clever way. (clever is in the eye of the reader, I suppose)

I give you 20 potential Kingwell excuses.

And Mark says…”so Niles and what’s your face, I really hate to bail on you guys but…”

1.  “My sister-in-law’s friend’s cousin’s father’s uncle tragically lost his pet turtle. The details are just too sordid to share.”
2. “My re-gifting recipient list demands to be written. Christmas will be here again before you know it.”
3. “I’ve fallen. I could get up, but I refuse”
4.  “I never go on a podcast on days that end with day.”
5. “I thought I was going to be on LA Literati. What the fu^* is La Literati? What language is this?”
6.  “I have to attend Charles Manson’s wedding.”
7. “I’ve been meaning to get a Rob Ford tattoo on my shoulder and it can’t wait.”
8. “I’m just way too busy chewing gum.”
9. “I have an important call from a telemarketer, and I HAVE to take it”
10. “I’ve been putting off making my Justin Bieber scrapbook.” (Bieber fever won’t wait)
11. “It just wouldn’t be fair to all the other brilliant people.”
12. “Summer will be here before you know it. I need to work out. Those Speedos won’t wear themselves”
13. “I’ve been putting off reading Fifty Shades of Grey. E.L. James is calling to me.”
14. “Signing up for an AOL account. It’s way overdue.”
15. “I’ve being dying to take a beets bath”
16. “My diet has been sorely lacking in kale lately. I must eat some NOW”
17. “I need to spend some serious time thinking up more excuses for why I can’t do the show.”
18. “I’m writing a new book on sardines and I have a deadline to meet”
19. “Kesha is in town for one day only. I can’t miss this concert”
20. “I need to get two restraining orders. How do you spell your names again?”

and bonus

21. “I just read your asinine list on WordPress.”


Last Kiss

 mahogany music 296

Music is a force of nature.

It can inspire, provide hope, turn us inside out, and shake us to our core.

Music is food for the soul, a balm for the heart, and stimulation for the mind.

It teaches us, it molds us, it redefines us.

Music is a memory, a touch, a time, a place.

It is the life within, the love we give, a palpable energy.

Music is everything we were, we are, and what we long to become.


-Tosha Michelle


My latest musical attempts.

Last Kiss

Beautiful Disaster